when what you're writing about
who you're writing about
is so close to your life
so close to the problems you're going through
that it pains you to write
you feel actual, penetrable fear
and sadness
because you don't want to know what happens to your character
because you are the character
and finishing this NaNo novel is not just a task to check off my to-do list
it's not just a fun competition with my self to guiltily fill my time
instead of doing homework or a zillion other things
it's like facing a therapist for an appointment each morning
that you keep trying to push off but you know you need to go
go and release
release
they always told me to write from my heart
write what you know
this is why i never listened
