Tuesday, February 24, 2009

reasons to live



"life is pleasant. death is peaceful. it's the transtion that's troublesome."

-Isaac Asimov


well it's almost two months into the new year and i'm starting to sort out my writing priorities now.I finally decided to make Ambrosia my main focus. it won over me: Andrea, her crazy grandmother who sneezes into her salad, Sofia who enjoys men, archery and fake identities and the beautiful lighthouse they live in, ghosts of the past, history catching up with the future, the phoenix and more.


I'm struggling to listen to Andrea's heart about why she's not happy with life. Most people would jump for joy that they get to live forever and rush to do all the things they want to do, right?

Well, one if you're stuck as 16, that's not cool. You'll be forever dependent and too young to do anything.

Two, if you live with a corrupt, greedy family, life's not a picnic, let me tell you.

Watching the Coraline movie today and seeing her simple desire to have fun and want a loving family reminded me of Andrea. She's itching to break free, but doesn't know how. Instead, she's drawn to staying with this horrible family for eternity because she's only just woken up to the fact that she has no where to run to. When your best friends are wire and pliers, you can say life is pretty lame.

All Andrea has grown up with over the 150 some years is war, corruption, sadness and history repeating itself. Her parents think life is about getting as much money as possible but they never spend time to enjoy life. Being from the Industrial Revolution and living through the dumbbell tenements and horrible city conditions, they're running away from that. This is their ticket to heaven. It's always about stealing, stealing and moving to cover it all up. They're ageless Bonnies and Clydes.


What would you do with all that time if you had forever? I think I would go crazy. It's too big of a number to fathom, too open, just too much. How do you know you're doing something worth doing? When is enough enough? Isn't there a time when you finally think- you know what, I think I'm done here, I've done everything I've wanted and I'm ready to go now?


Or do we all have that burning fear that we just can't let go,no matter what?


I'm interested to see what Andrea wants, where she will take herself and how she will cope with the decision- to live or not to live?


that is a hard question to answer, indeed.