The Odyssey of a Teenage Writer

Writing is Scary

2010-11-15T00:11:00.000-08:00

when what you're writing about
who you're writing about
is so close to your life
so close to the problems you're going through
that it pains you to write
you feel actual, penetrable fear
and sadness
because you don't want to know what happens to your character
because you are the character
and finishing this NaNo novel is not just a task to check off my to-do list
it's not just a fun competition with my self to guiltily fill my time
instead of doing homework or a zillion other things
it's like facing a therapist for an appointment each morning
that you keep trying to push off but you know you need to go
go and release
release
they always told me to write from my heart
write what you know

this is why i never listened

Lewis Carroll Square Stanza Writing Prompt

2010-09-04T00:50:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've written or tried to write poetry, so I felt the need to devour some good poems both old and new to get me in the right mood. I never considered myself a poet, or at least not a purposeful one. Poems come to me if they feel like it, otherwise I don't bother them.

Here's one fantastic poem I read in the July/August issue of Poetry magazine.

The Labyrinth

by Robert P. Baird

Torn turned and tattered

Bowed burned and battered

I took untensed time by the teeth

And bade it bear me banking

Out over the walled welter

cities and the sea

Through the lightsmocked birdpocked cloudcocked sky

To leave me light on a lilting planetesimal.

The stone walls wailed and whimpered

The bold stars paled and dimpled

Godgone time gathered to a grunt

And bore me bled and breaking

On past parted palisades

windrows and the trees

Over a windcloaked nightsoaked starpoked sea

To drop me where? Deep in a decadent’s dream

Wow wow wow wow wow! Can I add one more wow?
The alliteration, the inner rhyme, the whimsical, sensual made-up words, the quiet imagery and unassuming flow of narration-God, how I wish I wrote this poem. Seriously!

As for the Lewis Carroll Square Stanza... I couldn't figure it out for the life at me how that man did it! I mean I could see the pattern, but it wasn't as simple as sticking words in a repeating fashion. I was sitting on the lightrail with my journal and I was scribbling, scribbling away lost in thought of how to tackle this Rubik's cube like poem. But here is my attempt. I'm not sure if it really works and the content was definitely sacrificed to fit the gimmick....

he stays with me often

stays for such precious time

with such eagerness so and

me precious so i feel

often time and feel love

Anyways, the next prompt shall be taken from a cool feature in Writer's Digest Magazine called Reject a Hit. What harsh rejection letters might the authors of some of our favorite hit books have had to endure? In 300 words or fewer, reject a hit and send it in to wdsubmissions@fwmedia.com with “InkWell: Reject a Hit” in the subject line.

Oh this sounds fun muahahaha.

Making Headlines: Writing Prompt

2010-08-29T18:52:00.000-07:00

Well took some time to finally sit down and write this, but I chose these three words for my short story: "trapped " "witches " and "hospital".

I used the CNN headlines: Nigerian kids killed as witches, Trapped miners building shrine, Criminal probe targets hospital where 5 newborns died in fire

So here is my very random, kinda disturbing short short story.

Johnathon woke up in a hospital room and had no idea how he got there. His ears were ringing, his lip felt chapped and his throat was dry. What had put him in this condition? He tried to remember the last thing he remembered before blacking out. And then, the realization hit him and caused to suddenly seize up in his bed and try to find an escape route. Unfortunately, the nurse was already coming in.

"Look at you awake and alert. How are you feeling, dear?" she said.

Johnathon stared at her for a second before mumbling, "Fine, good, perfect so I need to go now thanks."

The nurse tilted her head back and laughed. Her ruby red lipstick made a chill go up Johnathon's spine. Blood, he thought.

A flash of blood was the last thing he remembered seeing. Johnathon had been dabbling with dark magic, things he knew he should have stayed out of but didn't.

The nurse began flipping through charts on the wall and scribbling something down that Johnathon couldn't read. Would she believe him if he told her his story? Did she know how he got here and what he had been doing?
"There haven't been any visitors for you. Do you have any family?" she said, turning around.

"Um no kind of. Where am I?"

"In Central City Hospital. You don't know that? Are you from here?"

Johnathon shook his head. He had taken over an abandoned store in the next town for his magical experiments, away from his nosy family and friends. He couldn't risk anyone finding out and getting suspicious. They didn't understand why Johnathon was so unhappy, so unfulfilled with his life. Discovering dark magic was the perfect way for Johnathon to get what he most desired, something to make him special, respected and obeyed. He thought he could handle it. He could handle AP Chemistry and modern science was only a few steps behind alchemy anyhow.

Boy, was he wrong. What he thought would simply give him greater powers instead gave him very powerful stalkers-a whole coven of witch stalkers, to be precise. He had duped the witches with some shady deals to get some highly sought after spells and ingredients, thinking that they were too stupid to notice. Johnathon was in the game to win, not share. And now they were after him. They didn't care that he was a human. They didn't care that he was only 14.

"How did I get here? Who found me?" he asked, taking a sip of water from the glass on the bedside tray. He tried to sound normal, no hint of fear in his voice.

"Apparently you collapsed in the heat on Birch Avenue. You had no ID, no nothing. No one seemed to know ya, but there were some people around and one lady was nice enough to call 911."

The nurse smiled and tightened her slick bun.

So no one saw me doing anything. No one saw my stuff. Good. No one saw them? Johnathon thought. Four old tall women with paper-white complexion, hawk-shaped noses, and crows tucked into their hats?

He had to atleast warn the nurse to not let anyone in, no visitors at all. The witches were shapeshifters after all and could disguise themselves to try to get access to him. He couldn't go anywhere on this bed. Johnathon wasn't used to feeling this powerless, being held against his will. He was trapped.

"Listen, this is going to sound crazy, but I really need you to do me a favor," he said. The nurse walked closer, her forehead wrinkling with concern.

"Of course, I'm here to help you. What is it?"

"No matter what, don't let anyone into my room. No visitors or anything, please. It's extremely important. There may be some person claiming to be my mom or my dad, but don't listen to them. Unless I tell you."

Johnathon held a fixed stare, praying she'd agree.

"Johnathon, I am not sure what you are talking about, but I can assure you we follow the safety guidelines of the hospital protocol. We don't just let anyone in. Visitors have to show their ID and get approval at the front desk, don't worry. You need to take your meds and get some rest, okay? We'll need to contact your parents ASAP though. They must be worried sick!"

Johnathon groaned as the nurse grabbed a paper cup and proceeded to the sink.

She doesn't get it! Why doesn't she get it? She has to understand that they are after me! That's much worse than anything my parents need to know about.

His mind was so frazzled he couldn't remember the complete verses of any protection spells to help him. The witches could be outside this minute. They could be waiting for the nurse to leave and then kill him alone in this room and no one would even notice.

Suddenly, the sterile, white room began to look even more depressing to Johnathon. This was never how he envisioned things to end. Not at all.

"Johnathon?"

He looked up to see the nurse holding out a cup of water and two red cylinder pills in the palm of her hand.

"Come back down to Earth every once and a while, okay?" she said, grinning.

He reluctantly took the cup and popped the pills in his mouth. Taking a swig of water, Johnathon sat back in his pillow, trying to figure out his next move.

"I mean it, come back to Earth, because that's where mortals belong," her voice suddenly grating and metallic.

Johnathon's heart lurched, as he looked suddenly at the nurse who's grin was growing to the sides of her face.

"Should have known better than to double cross the Hex sisters, boy. Trying to get into where you clearly had no place with such ancient magic. Big mistake."

Johnathon's vision was beginning to cloud. He opened his mouth to yell for help, but the words came out in a slur.

"Hope you like the little concoction I made. It's our special recipe. One of the few you didn't actually steal from us."

The witch put out her hand to brush Johnathon's cheek, giggling at his recoiling from her touch. She waved her finger to pull the shades down on the window, flick the light switch off and then turned to exit the room.

In Johnathon's last blink, he thought he saw a little beak poke out of the witch's collar.

-----

My next prompt is to compose a square stanza like this awesome one I read by Lewis Carroll. Check this out!

Twitter Writing Prompt: Gandhi Tweets

2010-08-25T00:50:00.000-07:00

pic credit: http://www.wikipedia.com

Remember the prompt I posted last time:Write the tweets of your dead hero, a dead historical figure, or a long-passed literary great.

I decided to write 5 tweets by.... Gandhi!

- an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. maybe that's why no one sees the dark path we are all going down...
-praying and fasting for pakistan. please send whatever $$ you can. we must all work together to relieve the devastation. does anybody care?
-i'm thinking about switching from glasses to contacts. what do you all think?
- spent a wonderful day picking up trash in the river that i didn't even notice the time. i almost missed today's episode of Oprah.
- this ground zero mosque story deeply saddens me. where is the satya, the truth? why must we fight and turn against our fellow man?

Hmm that was interesting, but actually hard! I didn't want to just simply use quotes by him or be too stereotypical, but I think I did allright.

Here's the next prompt:Log on to a news website, and match up three random words from three article headlines to use in a story of your own.

For example, via CNN this morning, I could have used “billion,” “targeted” and “swans” from the following headlines*:

“Half a billion eggs recalled in 17 states”
“WikiLeaks founder: I was targeted”
“Sell queen's swans, Briton suggests”

Get more great prompts, writing tips and inspiration from the Writer's Digest Blog.

Fall Season Writing Opportunities

2010-08-22T15:29:00.000-07:00

"Education is hanging around until you've caught on"

-Robert Frost

School just started last week and I'm already hitting myself on the head for my absence of productivity this summer. I was pretty much gone the entire time traveling in Europe and trying to find time to write or any alone time for that matter was extremely difficult. I did get some reflections and lines jotted down here and there, but nothing spectacular. So instead of being pessimistic, I'm looking ahead to the opportunities I have this fall to get my creative juices flowing.

-The Lux Undergraduate Creative Review is accepting submissions until Sept 1st. I sent in a short story last year that wasn't chosen (Lunch is Served) and I'd like to try again this year. Maybe a poem this time?

-Writer's Digest has its Popular Fiction contest and Short Story Contest due around November and December.

-Of course the biggie, NaNo. I actually did a TON of writing because of it last year and I'm psyched to do it again. Granted I haven't finished the story I started from last year but it really pushed me through my writer's block and inner critic and gave me good material that I'll keep for the second draft of the novel. I do have a new story for this year, so I'm working on background info, character sketches and whatnot so I'll be all set for that.

I really want to make an effort to go to more of the NaNo group writing events, because those really help me focus and set aside time. You'd think I could just write wherever and whenever since I have a laptop but I always end up doing something else online. Curse you distracting mind! No wonder writers go on retreats to an empty house somewhere off in the woods. I think if I had a typewriter I could crank out way more than I do now. There's something so sophisticated and pretentious about typewriters that would force me to pay attention to my writing haha. I do have some sweet journals to write in. All I need is the perfect pen....

-And then there's inkpop, which I have sadly neglected for several months. No one is reading my stuff and I haven't been exactly promoting or networking on the site either. It seems really hopeless because I've already asked all my friends on there to read my stuff and they've either picked or just commented on my pieces and that's it. No new people stop by to read so I don't do anything on there. I guess I don't have the major work that I want people to notice so I don't really care? I have a bunch of poems and a few short stories, but I think people care more about reading novels on inkpop. And guess what I haven't written yet? Sigh...

I always thought I would finish a novel sometime even if it was crap but my mind just doesn't want to do it. I'm way more interested in writing short stories, but then all the ideas I come up with are way too big for that length and then the ideas I come with for novels just don't seem deep or complex enough for me to write that much. I just...stop. I'm like stuck in this rut of collecting ideas but then not doing anything with them because I don't know if I should turn it into a novel or a short story... or an epic poem or a haiku or a ballad...

If I was really daring, I'd make myself just do a prompt each day and write until I felt like stopping. Maybe each day I'd write for longer unconsciously? Yeah I think I'm going to do that. Get ready for a barrage of posts every day of crap upon crap on anything and everything. Writer's Digest has good prompts each day on their website so I'm gonna copy and paste them from there. Here's the link so maybe you can write along with me!

http://blog.writersdigest.com/promptly/?p_PageAlias=promptly

Here's today's prompt: Write the tweets of your dead hero, a dead historical figure, or a long-passed literary great.

In a Travelling Mood

2010-07-16T14:17:00.000-07:00

"Feeling and longing are the motive forces behind all human endeavor and human creations"

-Albert Einstein

So I've left London and am now in Stockholm and the sadness I felt leaving is still with me now. Why does time have to go by so fast? Why is it never enough to satisfy me?

Missing London and my awesome family inspired a rather melodramatic little ditty I wrote while on the balcony of my grandma's apartment here in Sweden in order to escape the unusual suppressive heatwave. I left Arizona for a reason...sighh...

i never knew that longing could hurt

a feeling so real that it can convert

a passionate kiss and triumphant bliss

to convulsions of woe and hysterical fits

sleep interrupted; food has no use

mental strength weakened

until soft and loose

i wish the sun still comforted the same

but all i see is nature's cruel cruel game

absence make the heart grow fonder

but also makes the mind go wander

hmm it's a jumble of emotions in that right there so i'll leave it for you all to mull over.

Graphic Poetry

2010-07-02T00:54:00.000-07:00

"I dream a lot. I do more painting when I'm not painting. It's in the subconscious."

-Diego Rivera

I found this great site through StumbleUpon (seriously best creation ever!) that combines poetry and art together in a effortless visual manner. The site is www.graphicpoetry.net.

The poet has this written in his bio: "i'm a 29 year old hardcore pinko vegan pacifist metalhead loner blue-oyster-cult-worshipping computer nerd and sometimes revolutionist. you know, one of those."

After reading several of his poems, I wish I could be one of those too. It really inspired me to try putting my words with pictures and challenging myself to do the three-frame poem that Mr. Pelon uses.

Here's one of my favorites:

Hopefully I won't get in trouble for posting this poem here. All credit is due to the amazingness of Mr. Pelon and I only want to share his awesome work with the world on my humble little blog and encourage you all to check out the rest of his poetry on his site.

It's much easier to read the poem straight across as it appears on the Graphic Poetry website, but it shows up weird on here as stacked pictures. Read it left to right though and it will make sense.

Anywho, I'd really like to try this new medium next and see where it takes me. I'll upload my attempts as soon as inspiration hits. Which I hope is sooner or later. Maybe I'll write about the disgusting heat wave I'm forced to endure for the next few days until I leave the country...

Advice from Uncle Shelly

2010-06-30T00:32:00.000-07:00

"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be."
— Shel Silverstein

This poem came up on my StumbleUpon and made my night that much better. I hope it makes yours too.

Questions Questions

2010-06-29T00:20:00.000-07:00

pic from http://andicampbell.com

"Our doubts are traitors,

And make us lose the good we oft might win

By fearing to attempt"

- William Shakespeare

There's nothing like that inner ego to start gnawing away at your self-confidence. Self-doubt is a killer. It's one of my biggest flaws, that fear that grips me into perpetual self-consciousness to do the right thing and be the right person. I've been experiencing the ups and downs of that questioning quite a lot this summer and I'm not sure why. The questioning has been about both my writing and my personal life. For some reason I feel like the real me is slowly slipping away and I want to bring her back. I'm also afraid I'm not giving the new me a real chance to prove herself. I need to be more patient and trusting, but it's incredibly difficult when you don't want to waste every precious moment you have with no regrets... I'm also doubting my commitment to writing. It'd be easier to just give up and wait till I'm old and desperately wanting to write again , then I'll proceed to sift through all the unfinished notes and documents in my laptop or journal and do something about it. Why am I pushing myself so hard to write all the time when my mind clearly doesn't want to think about plotlines and my butt clearly doesn't want to stay in a chair all day?

This is all making my breezy, light, globe-trotting days a little harder to swallow.

But journaling through it all has helped me. Seeing my thoughts on paper makes it feel like I'm more sensible and I can then read over what I'm feeling and process it better. I guess it's a very writer-ly thing to feel alone and pour your emotions out. I just wish my pensiveness resulted in actual productivity in my projects. I decided it's best to work on the project that is most close to how I'm feeling at the moment since it'll feel more raw and real. Plus it's summer so I can pretty much do whatever I want. Jumping around from project to project is a fickle habit, very appropriate for right now.

That means I'm going to work on the new idea that popped into my head a week or two ago. It's about a Muslim girl and her family who have to go into the Witness Protection Program and how their life alters as they have to keep a cover until the girl can go to trial for the case. The illusion they have to keep strips them from their normal identities, but especially their visible Muslim identities, meaning the girl and her mother stop wearing the hijab. I want the story to discuss all the complexities of what an identity is, what is reality, what is truth and what is destiny. It's also going to have mystery and a bit of action as the girl tries to keep her family safe and figure out how to stay one step ahead of the enemy who is determined to track them down.

I don't know a whole lot about the Witness Protection Program so I'm reading and researching. It's really really interesting and I'm hoping I can incorporate my knowledge into the story in a believable manner, but at the same time, what's more important is the characters than the actual workings of the WPP system. Still, it would be nice to get it right or as close to right as someone who's not an insider can get.

Other than that, I'm going to be sketching, working on some poems here and there and hopefully, get a short story done for a Writer's Digest contest if I get it in on time what with my traveling and all. I'd like to write in a London tea/coffee shop and feel like I'm J.K. Rowling. I think that's the inspiration I'd need to finish a darn first draft maybe?

Summer Dissonance

2010-06-23T10:00:00.000-07:00

"To see the Summer Sky
Is Poetry, though never in a Book it lie -
True Poems flee."
-Emily Dickinson

I'm back from a crazy three and a half week trip to Hungary and Romania with my scholarship group and I'm ashamed to admit my writing production was extremely low. Other than keeping a journal of the day's activities and taking notes at lectures and presentations, I wrote one measly poem during an exercise about Hungarian poetry.

This is the poem I wrote up in literally 10 minutes from a list of 8 words that we were given to include. (I've highlighted them)

advice to a tourist

wake up in the city or the town
listen to the never ending sound
of people playing in the cool lake
or sighing after bites of sweet cake
shake off you sleepy slumber my dear
open your eyes there is nothing to fear
with luck and a map, you can fake your way through
make a trip on the metro so you
can travel as far as the city limits
or at least as long as time permits
rake the leaves off the trees in the park
but for goodness sake don't stay after dark
enjoy yourself when you travel abroad
now i'm done with this poem, thank god

...yeah, I know, extremely lame, but I was pressed for time and couldn't figure out how to use rake and sake :(

My creativity was somehow zapped in terms of writing and instead played out with photography. I got a new digital camera and had so much fun capturing the beautiful landmarks and people and food of Central Europe. The picture above was taken by yours truly in the amazing city of Budapest:) If only my memory card hadn't filled up, I would have definitely experimented more and shot way more pictures, but between all of us in the group, we have thousands upon thousands to look through so it's not too bad.

With all the free time I have this summer, I really need to organize and prioritize what stories I want to work on. I have several potentials as I talked about in my previous post and they're all incredibly interesting but as soon as I start trying to dig deeper into any of them, I get frustrated by plot holes and just the magnitude of figuring out all the characters and background.

I think I'm going to call this the summer of short stories and train myself to do short distance and once I have enough endurance to last me, then I can move on to the big league: the novel. I would love to write a small book of short stories if I could find a collective theme. I originally thought about just doing a short story collection about the American Muslim teenage experience since I'm having such a hard time writing just one book on it. But maybe there are other experiences and emotions I want to explore as well.

I'm just going to be free and open and soak up anything that comes my way. I think I'm ready for a sizzling summer fling with a fictional premise.

The Suspense Builds...

2010-05-18T18:59:00.000-07:00

"It is ridiculous to set a detective story in New York City. New York City itself is a detective story."

-Agatha Christie

I'm still waiting on the results of the Sparknotes Musical Fiction Contest. I don't feel as good about winning this one, since I haven't seen as many people mention my story this time around. I didn't win last time either, but "Lunch is Served" got an honorable mention and had many fans.

A lot of finalists were picked and I feel mine was really different. There wasn't a pressing plot or action. I guess it was more writerly, but that's how the song "Honey, Honey" was. I love the song because it's a slow building, heartbreakingly beautiful melody that makes the listener slowly piece together what's happening in the story.

In the end, I don't care what place it gets, but it's nice to get some positive feedback and gratification for the work you do:)

Contests are just good in general for making me buckle down and get some writing done, which I haven't been doing lately over these lazy summer days. Actually, scratch that, I have done some writing, but it's been spread so thinly over three different stories.

I had to put on the brakes on my NaNo story because I realized there was something wrong with it that needed to be changed. I know you're not supposed to revise the first draft. You're supposed to just write straight through a crappy first draft and don't look back. This is very very hard for me to do as a perfectionist. I have to know where things are going for the most part so I don't get bored, confused and veer off. At the same time, I also don't like outlining and planning too much, then I get too caught up in that and use missing plot points or weakly defined character as an excuse to stop writing. NaNo helped because I only had an idea and several characters at the beginning following the rules of no writing before November 1st. And whaddaya know, I wrote a good 130 pages by the end of the month. (That's still only like a third of a novel.)

I've decided to cut out one of the characters that I thought was important but I realized how the story was split into two ideas and it couldn't survive like that. I've also come up with two novel ideas: 1) two American Muslim teens who are best friends and how boys have affected their relationship and 2) a mystery novel with Muslim girl detective. Both are stories that I'm really excited to write about and have been mulling around in my head for just as long as my NaNo novel. The funny thing is all these plots once tried to be in one book together and I have characters moving from different stories and exchanging names, family members and background characteristics. Everything just has to fit nicely for the story to get going and I feel happier about the progress.

Now my problem is just focusing on one story now that I feel they are each on the right track. I think I favor the detective story but I just need to figure out the crime and victim. Who dies and why? It's kind of annoying how as a writer, I have to also figure out what happened but think from both points of view from the detective and criminal and understand both of their motivations. I have a really good book to help me through the whole mystery novel process though, so I better get to reading and follow the clues.

Mother's Day

2010-05-09T20:52:00.000-07:00

"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new."

-Rajneesh

Happy Mother's Day!

I hope you all were able to enjoy a relaxing day with your mothers or if you're not with them, atleast sent them a reminder of how much you love them. Moms are quite unappreciated and we shouldn't really need a mandated holiday to put the spotlight on them, but it's still nice to have a dedicated time to show how important they are. I would have loved to take my mom out to brunch and tea just the two of us, but sadly she works weekends so we'll have to postpone our mother-daughter outing for another day.

I wanted to share with you what I did get her, other than flowers and a card, a fabulous book called Little Bee by Chris Cleave.

Here's what the back of Little Bee says:

WE DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS BOOK.

It is a truly special story and we don't want to spoil it.

Nevertheless, you need to know something, so we will just say this:

It is extremely funny, but the African beach scene is horrific.

The story starts there, but the book doesn't.

And it's what happens afterward that is most important.

Once you have read it, you'll want to tell everyone about it. When you do, please don't tell them what happens either. The magic is in how it unfolds.

So, sounds good right?

I've been wanting to read this book for a while and I love sharing books with my mom since she hardly has time to read and doesn't know which good books are out there. I highly recommend this book to you all if you're looking for something new to read. I have a long list to tackle and now that school is out, I can finally get to it:)

Snap Judgment

2010-05-06T17:17:00.000-07:00

pic copyright:http://www.beyucaffe.com

"To be a person is to have a story to tell"

-Isak Dinesen

I found this awesome show called Snap Judgment, all about spoken word, poetry and sharing stories. It debuted on NPR nationally in April, but they have a website where you can upload your own stories with audio, text, pictures and get them potentially onto the radio show. They say that Snap Judgment is "putting the public back in public radio" and I'm very glad they are.

I'm really inspired by the online community of writers and how they are trying to create more opportunities and chances for publication and expression. Snap Judgment says they are looking for the best stories on the planet. It's nice you don't have to do all the traditional grueling work of sending out your stuff and waiting to be accepted (or rejected) by an agent to get your work noticed. Now the audience can come to you, give you feedback and spread the word!

I haven't dabbled into spoken word before, but I've always dreamed of competing in a poetry slam one day. Snap Judgment has motivated me to get started. It's a great way to practice short, engaging, plot driven stories that have to keep a person's interest. Plus, it would be awesome to be on the radio:)

All the stories I've looked at have such strange, but unique titles and premises. I think I have a lot to learn about a good spoken word piece, though I'm sure many people on there are in the same boat as me. I encourage you all to check out the site and submit your stories too:
snapjudgment.org

My Top 5 Literary Villains

2010-04-30T17:21:00.000-07:00

"The more successful the villain, the more successful the picture"

- Alfred Hitchcock

pic copyright: liquidmatrix.org

So I was inspired by ZellaKate to post my top 10 literary villains. I have never really thought about villains as much as I do about heroes, but I think understanding how to craft a good, non-stereotypical villain is very important.

But instead of 10, I could only come up with 5, but who knows, I could add more if I think of them. I think this was so hard for me because I don't read books that have a clear antagonist in it, just a force opposing the main character. I feel like real villains are more in comics, children books and movies? I haven't been reading as much fantasy or mystery and that's where real villains seem to appear.

I also discovered that I am incapable of spelling the word villain without spell check, so I guess I am improving my writing skills in multiple ways.

Without further ado, the list:

1. Villefort, Danglars and Mondego: The three stooges who imprisoned the innocent Edmund Dantes and ruined his life forever. I hate hated them as they put their selfish desires first and didn't blink at the crime they were committing until Dantes reinvents himself into the dazzling, charming and wealthy Count and strikes back. Ahh vengeance!

2. Voldemort: Come on, he was the epitome of evil against the symbol of hope and goodness, 'arry Po'er. His twisted, troubled childhood, mysterious omnipresence, obsession with snakes, hanging out in the back of Quirell's head, passion for eugenics... Everyone's fear of Voldemort made Harry's struggles against him that much more epic and exciting. You have to be an incredible character to be worthy of lasting seven books without becoming a washed up maniac. Rowling's creation of Voldemort is simply magic.

3. Cruella deVil: Her name pretty much sums it up. Fear a woman who puts fashion first above feelings. (Wilhemina Slater, anyone? Sidenote, RIP Ugly Betty.) I had continuous nightmares after watching Disney's 101 Dalmatians, even though I have never had any pet dogs. I can also no longer see Glenn Close as anything but this demented skunk-haired diva.

4. Simon Legree: Yes, Uncle Tom's Cabin was very melodramatic and slipped into borderline bathos with its preachiness and wordiness, but Legree was a great concentrated depiction of the evils of a slave owner. He had no heart, soul or sense of morality and deserved everything the slaves did to him.

5. [WARNING SPOILER IF YOU HAVEN'T READ/FINISHED THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO!!]
Martin Vanger: A sick sick minded man who was a Nazi sympathizer and engaged in incest and sexual abuse of women, including his own sister. Reading the chapters with his explanation of what he did made my stomach churn.

Hope this wasn't a downer on your day. Here's something positive to cheer you all up, or atleast me lol. My short story "A Sorceress Spurned" was picked as a finalist for the 2nd Sparknotes Fiction Contest! Hooray!

Please read it if you haven't and let me know what you think. I also appreciate your votes in the final user contest. Thank you!

South Park and Free Speech

2010-04-23T21:58:00.000-07:00

"Free speech carries with it the freedom to listen"

-Bob Marley

So this is kind of a departure from the theme of this blog about my writing, but then again, it's still related to writing because it's about something huge that all writers care about: censorship.

The Internet is abuzz over the South Park controversy of an episode that depicted the Prophet Muhammad in a bear suit. A website called RevolutionMuslim.com issued a warning statement that the South Park creators could end up like Theo Van Gogh, a Dutch filmmaker who was killed by a Muslim extremist upset over Gogh's film of Islam being violent towards women. (Why weren't they as outraged by violence that is going on towards women though? Islam doesn't promote that, of course, but sadly there are Muslim governments that do appease it and let it go. But that's an entirely different post.)

Now the owners of the RevolutionMuslim website have said they are not actually threatening the creators, but they are just stating facts based on what has happened in the past to other individuals who have depicted the Prophet Muhammad in any manner, especially in a negative light.

As a Muslim and writer, I am appalled by this. The Islamic belief that no prophet be drawn because it could lead to idolatry has been so exploited by desperate, uneducated Muslims. Why is it the end of the world if someone else depicts him? They clearly are not worshipping him and it is part of comedy just like the show behaves towards all other religious figures.

Muslims are not unique in getting special treatment for our holy figures. Those same Muslims who are issuing death threats and more certainly do not respect other religion's figures. Instead of being irrational and childish by threatening violence, they should explain their concerns through writing, letters and such about why they feel insulted or hurt by the depictions. That's free speech as well.

What annoys me is how only a couple Muslims act out like this and the media says that all Muslims are reacting in that manner. But we're not. The problem is that if it bleeds, it leads, so it's so much easier to make the situation seem like that. It only makes the Muslim community look more intolerant, backwards and sensitive.

Yes, any kind of insult towards the Prophet Muhammad, Prophet Jesus, Prophet Moses or the religion of Islam hurts me, but I'm strong enough in my faith to not let it have any effect on me. Free speech is very important and in many parts of the world, it is not respected nor tolerated. If we want to stop discrimination against us, then Muslims need to stop discrimination of others as well, whether we agree with their opinion or not.

And lastly, if these so-called Muslims want to honor and defend the Prophet, do they not understand that by thirsting for violence they are doing the opposite? When the Swedish and Danish cartoons depicted the Prophet as a violent person and then Muslims rallied to kill them, don't they see how idiotic and stupid that is? They are doing exactly what the cartoonists are accusing everyone in our religion of doing. If you don't like them calling the Prophet violent, then prove it by showing him we are not violent people and instead are rational, mature and cooperative.

When the Prophet Muhammad was persecuted, threatened and mocked by the townspeople, he never retaliated against them. He prayed for them. He even asked on the behalf of a woman who used to throw animal intestines on him while he prayed on his own in the mosque. That humility, patience and forgiveness is the example of the Prophet that Muslims all over the world should live by and defend. No one is going to believe Muslims are peaceful if we don't act that way.

Obviously we can't stop the fringe from behaving that way, but we can sure make a difference in preventing that fringe from growing and making sure we emphatically condemn threatening free speech as much as we can. Actions speak louder than words, so please join me in signing this petition in support of free speech:http://www.irshadmanji.com/petition

I'm an American Muslim and I believe in free speech, equal rights and respect. I may not agree or like caricatures of my religion or anyone's religion, but that's what entertainment does-make people laugh at the expense of others and that's just something we have to live with in order to secure our freedom. Cartoons like South Park are not intelligent critiques of religion so I could honestly care less what they say. I don't support hate speech and believe we all have a right to stand up to it, but we should let the law and courts deal with it. We are not lawless people, vigilantes who go out and do what we wish without thinking of others. I wish more Muslims would be as vocal against those terrorists who are giving us a bad name than little cartoonists or writers who aren't hurting anyone but their own intelligence and conscience.

Our religion can stand up to and cooperate with reason, courage and restraint just like anyone else, so let's actually show that, shall we? We live in a pluralistic, diverse, multi-religious society where we must cede certain preferences in order to be in harmony with others. You can't have everything your way. The world just doesn't work like that.

Sorry to get all political on you guys, but this is something I'm very passionate about and the writing community I know should have some sort of opinion on it. Judy Blume probably does:)

In the Zone

2010-04-15T11:55:00.000-07:00

" It always seems impossible until its done."

-Nelson Mandela

So despite my awesome and peculiar idea for a short story, I failed to enter the NPR Fiction Writing Contest. I know, I know cue the "awwww" sound.

It was those dreaded sirens YouTube and Facebook, I swear! I could not resist!

Actually, it was also that I went out of town and did not bring a laptop with me so I was disconnected from the world for a few days. It was quite frightening, I tell you. I didn't realize how much my life revolves around Internet, email, online news and such. It's nice to just get away from it all and get back to basics.

The reason I went out of town was to attend a school trip to Oklahoma City to visit the National Memorial Museum where the 1995 Oklahoma City bombings happened. We were learning about terrorism and the press, how the media covers it as well as what is terrorism really.

It was so fascinating to see the museum and learn about a domestic terror event that I don't even remember because I was only four at the time. The museum was incredibly well done and hit the perfect tone of solemnness, hope and courage for the survivors and the whole community.

We also got to talk to an amazing man, Mike Boettcher, a former CNN correspondent and veteran in covering global terrorism. We met lots of really interesting people thanks to our professor and being a part of the Cronkite school. Everyone knows us so we get a lot of priveleges:)

But it wasn't all work. One evening we got to watch The Green Zone, starring Matt Damon as Officer Roy Miller. The movie although very fictionalized is an account of a soldier in Iraq who uncovers the conspiracy over the lack of WMDs and how America knew that and still went in, fabricating information in order to have authority to create a democracy in the country. It's "inspired" by a non-fiction book by a Washington Post reporter Raji Chandresekaren called Imperial Life in the Emerald City.

It looks like the only things the movie and book have in common are the setting and theme, otherwise the whole character of Matt Damon finding out about the nonexistent WMDs isn't true. But I guess that's Hollywood. The movie was really good though and I'm not really into pointless action movies. I don't flinch at blown up cars and shaky camera scenes. Well I do, but not in a good way.

I watched the movie not just from an average viewer but as a writer which made me notice several things:

This movie had a compelling plot, although pretty simple, and made you follow the mystery the whole way through as you yearned to find out why the soldiers were being sent to sites that didn't have anything there and no one would listen to Matt Damon. Everyone should listen to Matt Damon! If it was over complicated then I would have lost interest. War and politics are already so confusing and complex that people don't want to have anything to do with it. You don't want readers to think that about your writing.

It's possible to draw people into a story that they might not know anything about by adding human interest and emotional conflict because that's what everyone relates to and will be thinking about as the story goes on. I loved the character of Freddi, an Iraqi citizen with one leg, that just wants to do what's best for his country even it means helping the American invaders. What would I do? Would I trust that guy when everyone says not to? Do I do the right thing or the easy thing?

So I'm not really sure how they were able to craft this implausible story out of Chandresekaren's book, but it's definetly going to make people want to read it now. I sure do. But it's going to be a looong time before I get to it. I have a list of about 50 books I want/need to read and I've barely made a mark on it.

This is my current read for one of my classes, but it's one that I'm enjoying a lot because I love Nelson Mandela and am very interested in the history of South Africa's apartheid.

You have a face for radio... and a story to match

2010-04-05T00:22:00.000-07:00

Fresh off my entrance in the Sparknotes Fiction Contest, I'm planning on entering this interesting one from NPR (National Public Radio.)

NPR Fiction Writing Contest
No more than 600 words
Deadline- Sunday, April 11, 2010. Must be received by 11:59 p.m. Eastern Time

To be qualified for the Contest, an entry must include only one (1) fictional story (each, a "Story"). The Story must include all of the following words, which may be used as nouns, adjectives or verbs of any tense:
plant
fly
trick
button
The Judge will select one (1) Contest Winner, based on the following criteria, weighted equally: (a) originality; (b) creativity; and (c) overall quality of writing.

I have absolutely no idea what to write about or how to use those four plain words, but I'm excited. I have a school trip Thursday to Saturday, but hopefully I'll be able to get enough work done before that so I won't miss the deadline. This is such a huge platform. I can't even imagine what I would do if I won or became a finalist!?!

These short story contests are like little battery chargers for me while I rest for who knows how long from my novel. It's taken me much longer than I thought to finish my NaNo novel, but atleast I'm further than what I would be if I hadn't tried at all.

So that's saying something.

A Sorceress Spurned

2010-03-30T23:46:00.000-07:00

**This is my entry for the Sparknotes Musical Fiction Contest. Try to guess what song it's based on:)

Honey honey, the bees sing to me. One by one, they land on my cheek as I rock back and forth in my chemise hammock The softness of their legs and fluttering of their wings wakes me from my reverie. I move my hand and slowly crush the bees between my fingers.

They are not who I wanted to wake up to.

I let my hand fall to the ground and the breeze whisks their dead bodies into the pool of wine beside me. I want the bees to float over the white sand into the sea and follow his boat onto the horizons, so that when he looks into the choppy waters, he might stop and think of what he did to me.

Pah! Odysseus knows full well what he did to me. I gave that man a choice and he rejected me-the sentimental fool.

I hear a squeal and snort behind me. I look over my shoulder to see two of my potbellies sniffing the gardenias and jasmine flowers lining the cave walls. I get up to wave them away. They love destroying my beautiful work no matter how much I yell. I swear they are determined to taunt my only pleasurable past time.

Normally, I would have drowned the exasperating creatures, but I have learned to control my temperament somewhat. I would never change myself for any one, especially not a man, but Odysseus had been different. I learned carefully what pleased his soul, made his mind wander or heart beat faster. I also learned he did not share my amusement in turning men into swine.

The pigs squeal again and trot to the mouth of the cave. The sky is dark and I feel the blue rush over my tired body. The clouds opens and a sheet of rain begins to fall. A show is beginning,a grand performance of lightning, thunder and howling wind. My pitiful companions watch in adoration as I sit down on a plush chair behind them and began eating from a vine of white grapes.

How silly of me to sit here pining away when I am safe on this island and he is out battling the wayward ocean storm at the mercy of Poseidon.

Why did I promise Odysseus a safe return? I could have lied when I advised him on taking the most cautious path home for spite, but what good would my deals be if no one trusted me? I would never receive any more visitors of mortal or godly status and become even more hated, even though I don’t wish to be around another soul as long as I live-which is unfortunately a damned eternity.

Well look where that goodness got me. Now I am alone in my home, which is nothing but a hollow land of enchantments, trinkets and memories of our time together. I still wear the necklace of shells and pearls he strung together for me in a drunken stupor one night. I bubbled with glee in thinking that he was finally giving up what he had-his past, his home, his wife and son.

But I was stupid to think Odysseus would forget everything. When he overpowered my spells, I should have known he’d bring me trouble. For once, I had met my match, a feeling most unnerving and enthralling. I realized I would not have to pursue him the way I had imagined, not like with his dimwitted seamen and those who came before them.

Thunder crackles through the darkness awakening the same raw anger inside me so fast my back stiffens. How could I have lost to ghost of an old wife? Was I not flesh and blood beating, bursting right in front of his eyes? We shared embraces that were far from boredom or desperation. Didn’t I show him how I would care for him in every way yet never nag or bore him? The nerve of that man to grow tired of my companionship!

If only I had laced him with more sweet affection and crafted a stronger, more perfect love. But after Odysseus, I feel my identity as a sorceress weaken. All my jars and bottles have been sitting uselessly, cast aside in dusty chests. Somewhere along the way, I became a simple woman and came to the infuriating realization that he couldn’t be captured like an element or herb in one of my potions. I can only imagine how lesser, homely women react in his presence. Hopefully, I haven’t debased myself too greatly.

No, there wasn’t a single thing I did wrong but even so, my island and I will soon be but a waypoint on his journey. I will be a tale Odysseus will spin into a dangerous encounter with a sly, bewitching woman on a lonely island and they will laugh and sigh, then retreat to their chambers after a lavish feast on golden platters.

I set down my half-eaten vine with a sudden desire to walk out into the rain. The pigs grunt and roll over on their sides as I move past them. Raising my hands up and closing my eyes, I relish the droplets of sustenance that is falling on our skin at the same time-me on dry land, he on the sea.

Perhaps Odysseus is thinking of me now, wishing he had abandoned his fruitless quest. Perhaps he is holding back the impulse to stop and order his crew to turn the ship around. I hope the cold wind bites his watery soul and make him yearn for my arms.

It isn’t worth risking your life to glory, but they never learn.

I feel a light kick inside and touch my stomach gently under my soaked gown. I turn back into the cave to dry off, knowing even if he wanted to, he wouldn't come back.

** Based on the song "Honey, Honey" by Feist. It's on my playlist on the blog, so check it out and have another read while you listen to it. Hopefully it fits well:)

creative lollygagging

2010-03-17T23:55:00.000-07:00

"It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!"

-Mark Twain

It's spring break and my mind is happily at ease sleeping (yay for snoozing), eating (a real kitchen!), writing (hello neglected journal) and reading(Prep is really good!) Unfortunately, I also have homework yuck. With only one week, I find it very unfair to have to divide time between socializing, homework and personal time.

If it weren't for my homework, I would be writing full speed ahead on my Sparknotes Fiction Contest entry which I really want to finish before going back to school. I'm stuck between 3 different songs now, so it's even more frustrating.

I'm also pushing through my NaNo novel. I laugh now that that I thought I would finish it by the end of December. That was a horrible miscalculation. I remember reading somewhere that the first draft is like the rough sketching of a picture before it's painted, so that's how I'm trying to approach my novel. I have no idea where it's going at times as I try to connect each point and each scene. Sometimes it feels too rushed or that I'm ignoring certain characters or not attending to certain story lines, but I shouldn't really expect all of it to make sense at this point, right?

For now I'm soaking up good music, weird art, current movies and amazing photography to hopefully allow all those creative geniuses soak into me and allow something to click. After all, it's break, this is when my imagination should be it's best.

musical fiction story

2010-03-06T21:56:00.000-08:00

So this is Sparknotes 2nd fiction contest. You should enter it too! I had a great response from my last entry, which sparked my other blog Zac Serves It Right otherwise known as Lunch is Served. I love contests like this because they're short and sweet and focused, which makes me more motivated and encouraged to enter and actually FINISH lol.

RULES

Entry period: March 1 — March 31

Story length: 2,000 words max

What to send:
1) Your username
2) Your story, pasted into the body of an email
3) The title of your story
4) The name of the song on which your story is based

Where to send your entry: missmarm@sparknotes.com

bitter love story

2010-02-23T22:45:00.000-08:00

"Remember writing doesn't love you. It doesn't care. Nevertheless, it can behave with remarkable generosity. Speak well of it, encourage others, pass it on."

Dear Journal,

I hope you enjoy your travels with me on the lightrail. That means you mean enough to me that I don't leave you behind in exchange for a novel, because that would be so much easier for me to deal with. You're tough, stubborn and don't listen, but when things go well, I'm incredibly happy and thankful you're there with me.

Sorry for the yogurt or tea stains on you. I eat breakfast on the go.

Love,

Your dutiful attending writer

The Genius Stops By

2010-01-30T23:28:00.000-08:00

It's been a looong time since I've posted. Why? I haven't felt inspired...haven't had time...felt lazy-- a whole number of reasons. Since NaNo, my creative fuel has altogether vanished, but once listening to the amazing Elizabeth Gilbert speak at the TED conference, I realized that I was approaching my writing process the entirely wrong way. It's not exactly my fault if I'm not writing brilliance, but it's my fault if I don't " show up to work" ready to be assisted by my writing genius. Check out her speech to see what I'm mean.

I'm off to sit my butt in a chair, grab my journal and pen and begin writing, whether I like it or not. I might add some dancing around every few minutes with some chants of Allah and Ole:)
I'm going to finish this first draft before school ends, I swear.

Writing Advice from Junot Diaz

2009-11-19T14:16:00.000-08:00

So Junot Diaz, author of The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, wrote about the difficulties of writing on oprah.com, and I thought it was fitting to read his thoughts, since I'm in the horrible third week of NaNo and I'm really really behind in my story. Here are two parts of his article that I really liked.

"It wasn't that I couldn't write. I wrote every day. I actually worked really hard at writing. At my desk by 7 A.M., would work a full eight and more. Scribbled at the dinner table, in bed, on the toilet, on the No. 6 train, at Shea Stadium. I did everything I could. But none of it worked. My novel, which I had started with such hope shortly after publishing my first book of stories, wouldn't budge past the 75-page mark. Nothing I wrote past page 75 made any kind of sense. Nothing. Which would have been fine if the first 75 pages hadn't been pretty damn cool. But they were cool, showed a lot of promise. Would also have been fine if I could have just jumped to something else. But I couldn't. All the other novels I tried sucked worse than the stalled one, and even more disturbing, I seemed to have lost the ability to write short stories. It was like I had somehow slipped into a No-Writing Twilight Zone and I couldn't find an exit. Like I'd been chained to the sinking ship of those 75 pages and there was no key and no patching the hole in the hull. I wrote and I wrote and I wrote, but nothing I produced was worth a damn."

"Because, in truth, I didn't become a writer the first time I put pen to paper or when I finished my first book (easy) or my second one (hard). You see, in my view a writer is a writer not because she writes well and easily, because she has amazing talent, because everything she does is golden. In my view a writer is a writer because even when there is no hope, even when nothing you do shows any sign of promise, you keep writing anyway. Wasn't until that night when I was faced with all those lousy pages that I realized, really realized, what it was exactly that I am. "

More Snicket! More NaNo!

2009-11-11T20:56:00.000-08:00

So I'm taking a break from writing to pass on a great piece of news from the New York Times. Lemony Snicket (Daniel Handler) is writing more books!

Lemony Snicket, the notorious pseudonym of Daniel Handler and the author of the bestselling “Series of Unfortunate Events” sequence, has agreed to sell the North American rights to publish a new four-part series to Little, Brown &Co., moving from HarperCollins. The first volume in the new series is scheduled to be published by Little, Brown Books for Young Readers in 2012. In a press release, Megan Tingley, publisher of Little, Brown’s Children’s division, said the new books would be a series of “highly inventive and entertaining works that will enthrall Lemony Snicket’s legions of fans.”Mr. Handler has also signed a deal with Little, Brown Books for Young Readers to publish his first young adult novel. The book, as yet untitled, will be illustrated by Maira Kalman, who composes an occasional visual blog for the New York Times Op-Ed page. That novel will be published in 2011.As part of the deal, Mr. Handler’s longtime editor, Susan Rich, will join Little, Brown as an editor-at-large in the Young Readers group.The “Series of Unfortunate Events” books, which have sold 60 million copies worldwide and apparently ended in 2006, were published in North America by HarperCollins Children’s Books.

I love the "apparently" added. It did not "apparently" end. It did. The last book was called "The End," in fact. Lol.

As for NaNo, I'm at 12,094 words right now, which is horribly behind what I should be at, roughly 18,000, but I'm aiming for 15k by the end of the night. I've been writing each day, but the problem is I'm not writing enough to keep up sadly. But the story is moving along now, so it should get easier, I hope.

Until later!

NaNoWriMo is almost here!

2009-10-30T13:53:00.000-07:00

" Oh, would that my mind could let fall its dead ideas, as the tree does its withered leaves!" -Andre Gide

pic copyright Adrian Pingstone

I'm soooo excited for NaNoWriMo. I feel like I have this secret purpose in my life outside of homework now. I have my novel idea and rough characters, but I haven't looked at my notes in ages, so I'm going to do that to get back into the groove. I am really concerned with getting stuck and losing steam early on, because it's been so long since I've been involved in my story. But I think the momentum of the NaNo events and the letters of encouragement they send should help me.

I have to be very very very focused. 1,666 words per day. I'm setting an alarm to go off each day to make sure I have a habitual writing time. I also have 2 essays for school to work one, one which is due next Friday, so it's going to be stressful for the first week or so. But we'll see. It just means I need to work harder, sleep less, no YouTube time, no Facebook, no Hulu, no long lunch and dinner chats with friends. It's going to be a lonely, but productive month.

But the weather is also AMAZING. Autumn puts me in such a good mood. It's chilly and I can have tea or apple cider while typing furiously on my laptop. The cold will keep me from socializing and going outside:)

My Zac blog will be taking a break so I can actually get this novel done, but I'll be back with him in December hopefully. So far I have 5 dishes and 7 subscribers yayyyy. I'm so proud of myself for doing that blog. It's a strange, unconcious story that's continuing and I have no idea where that project is going. But it's there and that's what matters.

I hope some of you do NaNoWriMo too. It'll be nice to have some company. I've joined the East Valley group and the Phoenix group, so I can meet up with them and discuss our novel troubles throughout the month. This is going to be real change of pace, but I think it should be a good one. Good luck and happy writing!

Vooks are Not Vivacious Books

2009-10-01T15:17:00.000-07:00

"Do not say a little in many words but a great deal in few."

- Pythagoras

pic copyright: manipulateddreams (deviantart)

So I read this interesting article in the NY Times about this new thing called a "vook." It's basically a virtual book, with text interspersed with digital elements like videos. It's the future of books! Or is it?

I like the fact that people are trying to shake up the literary world and expand the horizons of what a story is, but what worries me is that it's trying to avoid being a book. What's wrong with just reading a book with words? You read a book, because it's a book and if there's a movie adaptation, you might go see that to see how it looks, but both together? I don't know, it's weird to me.

Lots of books these days are now connecting to websites and adding a virtual world for the characters. Readers can go on and influence or discuss the storylines like in The 39 Clues, which is a huge hit in children's fiction. I think it's great that there are enthusiastic readers who want to continue the story outside the pages the author wrote. Especially since most kids won't talk about a book outside of class, but they'll be more than willing to go on discussion boards and talk about who Blair and Serena should end up with or who should have gone home on American Idol.

It's an interesting idea, but I don't want it to be an excuse for people to not actually read words anymore. All that flashes is not a good story. Words paint pictures and emotions that can't be physically reproduced in my opinion. I work hard to be able to capture an image and bring a character to life and to have a video replaces parts of that text would make it all seem pointless...But we'll see whether this catches on or not.

To read the article, check it out here:http://tinyurl.com/ydmfkk5

Tracking the Odyssey

2009-09-20T21:13:00.000-07:00

" Speak, Memory- of the cunning hero, the wanderer, blown off course time and again, after he plundered Troy's sacred heights."

- Odyssey 1

So it's ironic that my blog is chronicling my odyssey of writing stories, novels and poems on the road to publication, and in my honors class, I'm actually reading the book I took the name from. But I'm super excited, because I love love Greek mythology, always have. That's why I loved reading the Greek myth anthologies (and comparing them to the copycat Romans lol), Magic Tree House series, watching any Wishbone episodes of the Odyssey, King Midas etc and of course, the Percy Jackson series.

What's interesting is that the paper I have to write is not simply writing about an element in the Odyssey, but actually writing an argument about it. I can only use the textual evidence to support my thesis and write a 5-7 page paper. This is due in more or less 2 weeks. Yeah, and I haven't started.

Well, I've at least narrowed down the 2 prompts I'm interested in, but I can't seem to figure out which one would be worth pursuing, or which one would be easier to defend.I'm stuck between arguing the significance of women in the Odyssey or the significance of gods.

I'm also worried about plagiarism, which is a huge no-no, especially in college. But I can't help that my basic ideas seem to agree with what Sparknotes has, so what am i supposed to do??

I need owl-eyed Athena to guide me through this haha. I love the symbolism in Greek mythology, but come on, how many times do they have to repeat "owl-eyed" or "grey-eyed" Athena? It loses its specialness after a while...

I guess I've just always enjoyed the Odyssey as a story and never thought about it analytically. Greek myths are usually pretty obvious in their meanings, because they're meant to explain natural occurrences in our world that the Greeks couldn't explain. Sometimes I think authors don't really plan out any deeper meanings or motifs and all that stuff. They just tell the story the way it's supposed to be told and readers find all these underlying coincidences and such.

But you have to admit, the Odysseus is an amazing piece of literature. It has probably the only fictionalized couple that I actually cared about- Odysseus and Penelope. I really feel sad thinking about how long they were apart from each other, how she remained loyal to him, and how happy he was to see his family again. There's real hardship and suffering, which creates real emotions. Unlike a certain group of sparkling vampires we all now:)

Anyways, I will be plunging through the Odyssey at full speed to write this paper, but I have not forgotten my other mission-to prepare my novel for NaNoWriMo in November. It sounds far away, but I know it'll be just around the corner, teasing me to keep my pact. As long as I have the right tools and preparation, it should be smooth sailing for me.

Unless Poseidon decides to take his anger out on me along the way....

NaNoWriMo

2009-09-11T21:14:00.000-07:00

"Most people run a race to see who is fastest. I run a race to see who has the most guts.

- Steve Prefontaine

pic copyright munfitnessblog.com

so i signed up for NaNoWriMo 2009 for the first time ever. Basically this means I am attempting to write an entire novel from Nov 1- Nov 30. I doubt I will be able to finish the 50,000 word count, but I think just being in the whole project alone will be an awesome experience and hopefully the right motivator to finish my novel. I know you can't start writing until midnight on November 1st, but there aren't any rules on outlining and plotting ahead of time right? because that's what takes me time. If I can have a decent outline and know where I'm going with my story, I think I'll have a much much easier time just writing away. It's sort of like a marathon, getting all hyped up and in shape. Some of my secrets are changing fonts, writing centered and in places other than my room(or dorm room.) maybe I'll set up shop in the cliche Starbucks downstairs. I'll need fuel:)
There's something strange about writing for quantity and not quality. Normally, I would feel like it's a waste of time, but in a way, writing crap really helps me unblock and write better. Plus I think it's really cool that I'll be on a website where millions of other people are writing novels and have the potential to have their book published! I don't know how anyone can write a book in a month and get an agent or publishing house interested. I guess they have to do rewrites and then they send up queries. I already have a list of agencies and publishing houses I want to submit to and I don't even have anything finished-very lame.
First rule of publishing is write the book first! So I'm hoping NaNoWriMo helps me do just that. I don't really want to make a schedule for myself, but my goal is to write every day. You even get pep talks sent to keep up the motivation from published authors like Meg Cabot(!), Phillip Pullman, and Katherine Paterson-I love that! I think it would so awesome to be a winner, even though there's no prize as the website says. So I encourage anyone to sign up for this crazy adventure with me at nanowrimo.org. Let me know if you do! Oh and I'll leave you with a Meg Cabot NaNoWriMo pep talk that perfectly address the dilemma in my last post:)

Dear NaNoWriMo Author,

I know what you're doing. You're thinking about cheating, aren't you?

Ha! Caught you!

Come on. One cheater knows another. You think I've never been there?

Maybe for some of you it's not too late: you haven't crossed the line...maybe you're just entertaining the idea of abandoning the story you're currently working on.

Maybe you're just thinking of taking a break to jot down a few notes about the story you just thought of; that ultra-fresh, totally cool, sure-to-be-a-bestseller you dreamed up the other morning while you were supposed to be figuring out where you took the wrong turn on your work-in-progress.

But I'm here to let you know: That's how it starts. The next thing you know, you're doing character sketches. Then a little dialogue. Then whole scenes.

And then you're through. You've given up on your work-in-progress entirely, and the next thing you know, you've started working full-time on this new story you thought up.

I know only too well what comes next. The excuses. The rationalization: "So what? So I switched stories. I've still got a work-in-progress. It's just not my original work-in-progress. So I'm a little behind in my word count. I'm still writing, right?"

Sure, it seems innocent enough. But the problem with doing this is that of course the new story always seems better than that old busted up, out-of-control story you've been working on for so long. That new story has the aura of dewy freshness to it. It's calling to you! It's all, "Yoo-hoo...look at me! I don't have any plot problems and my characters are way-intriguing and some of them wear leather jackets and oh, yeah, you know that weird transition thing you've got going on near chapter four that you can't figure out? I don't have that!"

I know. It sounds good.

But how long until some other story idea comes along and twitches its enticing little characters at you, and you decide to abandon this new one for it? How many words will you have then?

Not enough for a whole book, that's how many. And here's the thing: If you keep doing this, you never will.

Do you think I haven't been there? Cheating on your current work-in-progress with a new one is the oldest trick in the book! I have a plastic milk crate crammed full of stories I started and never finished because I cheated on them, then got so enamored of my new story, I never went back to the old one. Over and over and over again.

And that, my friends, is how you never finish a book. Take it from someone who has hundreds (maybe even a few thousand) of unfinished stories because of this phenomenon.

So stop right now! Stop using a new story idea (or whatever excuse you've come up with) to avoid the work you still have to do on your current work-in-progress!

Put the Shiny New Story away for later, when you're done with your WIP! If your Shiny New Story is that good, it will still be there waiting for you.

And please...don't end up like me, with a plastic milk crate full of half-finished stories. Think about what made you fall in love with your work-in-progress in the first place. Shower it with the attention it deserves.

And whatever you do, don't let it end up in the Milk Crate of Shame. Think of where we'd be if all the great stories we love today ended up there, uncared for and forgotten by their authors, because they got distracted by some Shiny New Idea while they were working.

Take a deep breath. There. Feel better?

Yeah. So do I.

Now let's get back to work.

And about the cheating...I won't tell if you won't.

Meg

chasing pages

2009-08-31T10:19:00.000-07:00

“Realize what you really want. It stops you from chasing butterflies and puts you to work digging gold.”

- William Moulton Marston

pic copyright pareeerica @ flickr

I am the ultimate flip-flopper. Not in my politics, but in my writing projects.

Remember how I said I had an epiphany to write my Amirah Hassen novel as a part of a short story collection in order to be able to address all the different voices I wanted?

Well last night, I just HAD to come up with an incredible outline for the novel, with tons of great characters and subplots and themes....what's wrong with me?

I guess I don't have to choose between the two. I can still write a short story collection AND a novel. It's just going to take more time to finish either. Especially because I'm juggling my Zac Daniels story (psst:check out the other blog!) It's just so hard trying to figure which form is going to allow me to express myself better, which one is going to describe and entertain and connect more- the delicate short story or the grandiose, epic novel.

But I think with all the time I have between classes and in the mornings, it's good to have some kind of creative outlet depending on the mood I'm in. Or early in the morning like 4:30 am. Whatever:) Some writers say you have to stop thinking about writing as this oh so lovey, wonderful process and treat like work. Hard, frustrating, tearful work. I think the mentality of it is right, approaching it with punctuality and dedication. But if it's work, I'm not going to do it. I have enough of that for me already. I guess the emotions of love and hate are so intertwined, it's almost the same. I love writing and hate it. But the thought of finishing, of hearing my characters talk in my head when I'm walking to class or sitting in my room makes me want to keep going.

I feel bad for my roommate when I wake up and start typing away on my laptop. But I am not the kind of person who can remembers thoughts from the night before. I also cannot do that put a journal by your nightstand and write it down. I tried it and in the morning I read chicken scratch and loopy signatures. I guess turning on the light would help too....

I really want to have a decent amount of writing to show the writing club I'm joining (or hope to join. It better not be some exclusive club for english/creative writing majors grrrr.)

Now I honestly have something to look forward to after class. Having an awesome story to work on is like having a puppy or kitty waiting at home for you lol. Lame, but true. Unless that story starts acting up and making a mess and it won't leave me alone with all its problems.

Then I'll have to put it outside for awhile, let it feel lonely and sad and then come back in when it's ready to behave again.

lunch is served-short story

2009-08-15T10:42:00.000-07:00

So here's the short story I wrote for Sparknotes along with the introduction that MissMarm(the blogger who posts the winners) wrote :D

When you're writing a story, ask yourself, Have I really imagined this scene? Have I pictured it in my mind? Do I know how hot the room is, what the characters are wearing, what the air smells like, what time of day it is? Only if you do the imaginative work of visualizing each moment of your fiction can you write convincingly.

The writer who hasn't done this imaginative work writes sentences like "I have my coworker." Nothing wrong with those four words, but they don't do any work. They don't invite us into the story, and they don't suggest the writer knows what he's doing. The writer who HAS done this imaginative work writes sentences like "I have Mrs. Chen, the cashier lady who loves zebra nail tips." These words are earning their place on the page. They're showing us a vivid, specific character, and they're convincing us that the writer knows exactly what she's doing.

Zebra nail tips are just the beginning of this cafeteria tale. Enjoy!

Lunch is Served

My name is Zachariah Daniels and I have the greatest seat in our school cafeteria-behind the lunch counter of Express Munch Line. Yes, I am one of those student workers who gets free meals for working during lunch and simultaneously doesn't have to worry about whom to sit with. I have Mrs. Chen, the cashier lady who loves zebra nail tips.

On top of getting to serve the charming inhabitants of Ben Franklin High, I do it while wearing a stupid chef's hat, despite not actually cooking anything. But whatever. I stopped caring about what people think of me after the first month of freshman year—I'm a junior now. Everyone knows it's not what's on the outside that counts. It's what's on the inside. Seriously. I've found what people eat is much better reflection of who they are. If more of us paid careful attention to the lunch hour (that for some reason is scheduled three hours after breakfast), we would get to know each other much better.

I, for example, know a ridiculous amount of info about my fellow high school students just by checking out their lunch orders four out of five school days. (Fridays, I go to AV Club meetings.)

The bell rings and the cafeteria begins to fill with the buzzing sound of hundreds of conversations and rumbling stomachs and screeching girls. I pull on my saran wrap gloves, slap on my cream puff hat and prepare to serve.

My first customer is a scrawny boy, freshman I bet, who orders a footlong with the works, two bags of Doritos Nacho Cheese, a Dr. Pepper and a chocolate cookie. This kid is either overcome with joy of high school food or he iss certainly deprived of junk food at home. I want to break it to him that by week two he is going to despise the cafeteria food as much as gym, but his toothy smile is so refreshingly innocent, I simply hand him his food with a nod.

The next group jumps to the counter with smug faces that scream " We just cut in front of the whole line. What you gonna do 'bout it."

Nothing, of course. They've been line cutters since birth. I've no doubt when the nurses were scheduled to deliver in the next room, these wise guys forced their ways out of their moms early just to a pain.

As the dudes shout out their orders, I'm forced to pick up and put items back as one guy chastises them in questionable language that he can't afford to pay for all their crap. They laugh as if I'm some poor pawn in their game and take several more minutes wasting my time and the rest of the people in line. Their final order turns out to be fried chicken boxes and Gatorades. Greasy and neon-colored. And that's why they're such slimeballs.

Following them is Phil, who orders every carb and protein packed item we have. I noticed he's been recently trying to bulk up for wrestling. Plus, he's been trying to impress this girl, Shelby.

" Want a try this new granola bar?"

I hold it up over the glass. He grabs it and scans the nutrition facts.

"Sure."

He scoots to the cashier station. His unenthusiastic tone worries me. I wish he hung out with more encouraging athletes that didn't see their diet as a miserable punishment. But who am I kidding? I would sooner down a dozen donuts than a salad.

More students order lunch, nothing special. Which explains why I don't know anything about them. It's the people that like mustard and vinegar on their sandwiches like Victoria or nachos with ketchup and jalapenos like Mark that are worth remembering.

The next customer is my history teacher, Mr. Wahlberg. Instead of being like the normal teachers who collectively put in an order at Wally's Taco Stand and eat in the lounge, Mr. Wahlberg insists on "rubbing shoulders with his pupils" and "dining with the masses." There should be a rule against this.

" Zachariah, my main man," he says, putting his hand up for a high five.

"I touch food,sir."

" Right," he mutters. "So I'll have an iced tea... Uh, a cheeseburger and ... some Cheetos."

He acts like it's a tough choice, but he has the same order every day. The iced tea is his weak attempt at a caffeine source, the cheeseburger a soggy excuse for manliness and the Cheetos-so he can "look cool" licking orange fingers.

I glance at the clock and then she's standing in front of me. She stole my heart when she ordered a salami and swiss cheese sandwich, milk and Double-stuffed Oreos- my favorite snack. I've been taking Katie's order for over a year. She says she doesn't like bringing lunch because she enjoys the spontaneity of cafeteria food. Gosh I love her.

"Hi Katie," I say in my most suave manner.

"Hey Zac." She runs her fingers through her amber hair.

"So I got a great one for you today. How about a teriyaki chicken—"

" I'll have a water and some crackers,please," Katie interrupts.

I laugh.

"Sorry, we're out of the Nurse's Office Special. How about chow mein? Onion rings and relish?"

Katie sighs.

"I don't eat that stuff anymore."

Suddenly a ridiculously skinny girl strolls up.

"Helloo, we're waiting."

Katie eyes me nervously. I look at her, trying to bring her back to me with my stare.

"I'll get right on it," I say finally.

I open the fridge to get a bottle of water, grab a packet of crackers, then slam them on the counter.

"Enjoy," I say lamely.

As they link arms, I remember not to judge Katie by her new fake friend, but by my lunch philosophy. I'm sad to report my soulmate is barely holding on, floating on little salty lifeboats in the choppy waters of peer pressure. I wish I could save her, but from where I sit, I'm not close enough.

a summer whirlwind dies down

2009-08-15T00:02:00.000-07:00

pic copyright Claudio.Ar (flickr)

"The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are."

It's been awhile since I've written anything, due to all the traveling and get togethers I've had this summer. So this is going to be a long post to make up for it.

I've also been reading a lot this summer which is soo nice for a change. I've read some great books including the House of Night series, The Interpreter of Maladies, The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane, The Last Olympian, and I'm currently reading Impossible.
As you can see, it's a nice mix between YA, children's and literary reads, which I'm trying to do. I want to broaden my viewpoints and influences in hopes that they will all help my writing.

After reading the Interpreter of Maladies, an amazing short story collection by Jhumpa Lahiri that chronicles the lives of Indian American immigrants and their families, I realized that I could do the same thing with my Muslim American characters. I was having such a hard time coming up with one plot and focus, because there are so many stories to tell that writing short stories solves that problem. It also breaks up the plot lines and allows me to write in pieces instead of a humongous novel, which at my age and attention span, is seriously hard to finish.

I feel bad for steering away from Ambrosia, but I think it's better to channel my energy and time into something I'm passionate about instead of waiting around and hitting dead ends with another story. I will get back to it eventually. I know that there are problems that some distance should solve. That's what usually happens.

I have ideas for 4 different short stories so far and they are all soo different that I'm excited to explore those sides of me. I want to do a bit of research too, so I can accurately depict the character's lives and not sound too stereotypical or melodramatic. I don't want to pity the Muslim characters, but I want to show the range in emotions and humanize their experiences to people who have never met or heard of them before.

Outside of that project, I found out that the ambrosia short story I wrote for 17 fiction contest eons ago didn't make it. I was supposed to hear something in August, but I found out that in the September issue that's out in stores now, they have the winning story. I am disappointed, because I really loved that story and felt that it was really special. I though that maybe it might have a chance at even making it as a runner up on their website, but nope. I'm anxious to read the winning story and compare. No hard feelings though. I have to get used to rejection:(

But what made me feel much better is the fact that another short story I wrote was chosen on Sparknotes Fiction Contest! The comments by readers so far are so amazing and positive and they say it's their favorite one so far. How's that to boost your confidence? I thought the story was really strange, considering it was from a guy's point of view and it takes place in a high school cafeteria, but I had so much fun telling this strange story that wasn't going to be big. I guess when I don't take myself too seriously, my stories take care of themselves and the humor and details spill out.

Writing is so strange, sometimes....

Well, I'm hoping I can still get my writing done when school starts in 2 weeks. I'm going to try again with the 17 fiction contest. It's good thing I have 3 more tries until I am no longer eligible haha. I also plan to write each short story in my new Muslim-American collection. We'll see how well my goals play out. It's a new school year, new experiences (dorming anyone?) and lots of new writing to do.

I love fresh starts:]

disappointment plus The Higher interview

2009-06-13T17:02:00.000-07:00

"Disappointments are to the soul what the thunderstorm is to the air"

-Friedrich von Schiller

pic from firstcoastal.com

so i came back from California last night, ready for a long sleep, dinner with the fam and my writing class the next day. Instead I found out that my class had been canceled due to low enrollment. They called my mom the day before.Low enrollment? Who cares? This is a summer class for writers. We work better with less people, hello. I wouldn't mind a private session. More focus for me:]
So all this time, I planned my trip around my class in order to not miss it, when I could have stayed longer in California with no worries. And thanks for the advance notice a day before....

Great. Wonderful. I guess I'm still in it alone after all. Maybe it's a sign? It doesn't help that I'm now torn between ambrosia and Amirah Hassen. With all this ample time to write, how do I choose between two extremely different stories? They are both in serious danger right now, since the plots are crumbling apart and I can't find the real meaning, the real thoroughline to get to the end of the tunnel. They're just a jumble of characters, scenes and dialogue. No one wants to sit down and tell me it straight or create a visible journey to follow. It's amazing and scary how easily one little doubt can quickly erase the credibility of months and months of hard work....

I did accomplish some writing during my vacation though. I did a phone interview with Seth, the lead singer of The Higher, a pop, R&B band from Vegas. I also got a free CD to review:] Here's the finished interview.

Seth is the lead vocalist for the hot Las Vegas band The Higher. Their newest album, It’s Only Natural, debuts June 23^rd. I got a chance to talk with Seth about the band’s journey, unique sound and more.

1. What does your band name mean?

When we were young when we first started the band in high school, we were called September Star. The name never really fit us; it was a name that was put to us. Once we got signed and had a record, we listened to songs we were writing and at the time they related to lots of metaphors, lots of sky. We were trying to keep doing what we love and get higher up on the food chain to become a bigger and better band. We felt like the name, The Higher, fit so many different aspects. And even now, it means more and more to us.

2. How do you feel about your new tour?

Really excited. We’ve been waiting patiently for the record to drop, to leave home and go back. We were touring for two and a half years, had a break these past six months working on the record, now we’re excited for the road.

3. When do you decide you wanted to be a professional musician?

I never really decided, it kind of decided me. I was doing it to have fun in high school, playing shows and loving music. The fans responded more and more and as things went on, that was what we needed to. Little did I know not many boys could sing. We started to work and got bigger. Now I know that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life.

4. What do you think are the main ingredients for a successful band?

You’ve got to have the right guys. Everyone has to get along. Everyone has opinions, but you have to agree to disagree and find people that accept you. You have to be able to work together, in a non-hostile environment. And of course, you need the right songs. Well written songs speak for themselves. You’ve got to respect talent.

5. Can you describe your songwriting process?

Sometimes we start with riffs or the bass. Sometimes we get an idea and then write lyrics or we form the notes that sound best around them. We never write the song the same way, it’s always different.

6. What inspires The Higher’s original look and sound?

All of us are different musicians. We listen to different stuff, but we have the same common interests. We take style from rock, pop, R&B, funk, ballads, guitar driven, or lyrically driven music. Not a lot of bands have the same sound, so we’re adding a little more. I think, especially in our latest album, we did a great job tying it all together.

7. Choose one word to describe each band member.

Doug is passionate. He looks like tough guy, but he loves music and his girlfriend, Dunkin Donuts and Boston Celtics.

Jason is emotional. He’s the guy who can jump from different personalities, from emo to life of party. He’s one of the oldest guys, but he’s like an emotional baby.

Reggie is the partier, the socializer. He’s the networker who’s out every night, in hot clubs in Vegas. He’s really friendly and easy to get along with. He’s just fun to have around.

8. Outside of music, what are you into?

All of us are really active and into sports, which is weird, because not many bands are into sports. Most of them play videogames but we don’t. After a show, we’ll be up watching Sports Center and we can’t wait to get off stage to see what the scores are. I’m actually going to watch the NBA finals after this interview.

9. What artists do you look up to?

Justin Timberlake is a big influence. When around 50% of the songs we cover are N*Sync and Justin Timberlake, you can tell we’re all fans. A lot of people say we sound very similar and I can see why. I’m like the voice of Justin, but we collectively put the aspects together. I also like Michael Jackson and Billy Joel, which is the blast from the past. There’s a lot of influence from rock and old Queen tunes. I listen to a lot of R&B. I just love the melody and style. R Kelly records are great. If our band could work with any producer, we would love to work with the Dream.

10. What are your favorite songs on the album and what inspired them?

“It’s Only Natural” is a great song. I love it. It’s also our single so it’s going to be the most played out.

“Undertaker” is the most diverse change to our band on this record. It’s more rock and hip hop with a little funk vibe and more R&B. It’s a song all about Vegas, it reps Vegas.

“Play with Fire” has a Michael Jackson influence. It’s a soul song, our version of “Dirty Diana.” It’s about a girl who thinks she can get whatever she wants.

“Lady in the Black Dress” is about hitting on a girl because you’re both going through hard times, grieving someone who’s dead. It’s about finding life and living it to the fullest. It’s very different from our usual sound, more swing ballad and a very powerful pop song.

11. What do you like/dislike about becoming a celebrity?

I like that people can appreciate good music. I enjoy playing music for a living. It’s a dream and a blessing. Every day, I feel so lucky to have supportive fans loving our music. Sometimes, it’s not so great with a long treacherous tour away from family and friends. The show time is great, those three hours are awesome, but the six to seven hours driving to next town isn’t always fun. But we keep a positive head on our shoulders, stay busy in van, and watch every TV show possible.

12. What’s something you won’t do for fame?

Never give up writing our songs. We would be open to writing songs with other people, though we mostly write all the music ourselves, other than covers which are fun. I don’t think we’ll ever be band that just does songs by other people. We always strive to make original songs by The Higher. That’s what makes us special.

13. What advice do you have for teens interested in the music business or what’s the best piece of advice you’ve received?

Stop worrying where you are. Keep practicing and writing songs that you think will make you better. What makes you get noticed is writing a good song that people hear. Always keep practicing, writing, making music, and eventually you’ll make something that will bring out who you are. It’s all about the company you keep, so make sure you and your band get along.

14. If you could be a superhero, who would you be?

I would want to be like Spiderman. Spiderman is one of my favorite comics. He may not be most dominating or coolest, but he can practically fly with his web. He’s almost indestructible and can do whatever he wants, but he’s still human and a normal guy. I would want to be able to still be normal and powerful.

15. Is there anything else you want to say to your fans?

Come out June 23 and pick up It’s Only Natural. We can’t wait to start our tour and hope you come see us wherever we play. Thanks!

summer writing!

2009-05-16T15:45:00.000-07:00

so in 2 weeks, school will be over and i will be free, with high school behind me and my whole life ahead of me. i'm most excited for not just vacation(california!!), but I'm taking a summer writing course "How to Write a YA Novel."

I'm so ready to be serious about my novel after having spent a year of plotting, character sketches and thinking, thinking, thinking. Now I can finally be around people who will give be me feedback and test my story in the world.
Once again, I'll probably be the youngest person in the class, just like in 8th grade when I went to a free workshop on publishing at the library. I was surrounded by women and men 30-40 years older. It was an enlightening and weird feeling:)

With other news, I won 2nd place in a city wide poetry contest! I used a poem i wrote for my senior project. it's nice to know homework can actually be put to good use after it's graded. I won a free copy of the latest of TeenInk and a new notebook(used by Hemingway, which therefore guarantees it's coolness.)

things are definitely looking up. i just need to bear the next weeks of finals, yearbook signings, nostalgia, impatience, crying, graduation practices and parties. i'll have plenty to write about, i'm sure.

making connections

2009-05-06T20:25:00.001-07:00

pic from photoblog.groovyf.co.uk/?showimage=25

So I found this awesome opinion article on immortality that perfectly discusses the theme of ambrosia. How weird is that? Well, it's a wonderfully written piece published in the NY Times, so enjoy!

A Brief Version of Time

By Alan Lightman
Published: Monday, February 8, 1993

Suppose that people live forever.

Strangely, the population of each city splits in two: the Laters and the Nows.

The Laters reason that there is no hurry to begin their classes at the university, to learn a second language, to read Voltaire or Newton, to seek promotion in their jobs, to fall in love, to raise a family. In endless time, all things can be accomplished. Thus all things can wait. Indeed, hasty actions breed mistakes. And who can argue with their logic? The Laters can be recognized in any shop or promenade. They walk an easy gait and wear loose-fitting clothes. They take pleasure in reading whatever magazines are open or rearranging furniture in their homes, or slipping into conversation the way a leaf falls from a tree. The Laters sit in cafes sipping coffee and discussing the possibilities of life.

The Nows note that with infinite lives, they can do all they can imagine. They will have an infinite number of careers, they will marry an infinite number of times, they will change their politics infinitely. Each person will be a lawyer, a bricklayer, a writer, an accountant, a painter, a physician, a farmer. The Nows are constantly reading new books, studying new trades, new languages. In order to taste the infinities of life, they begin early and never go slowly. And who can question their logic? The Nows are easily spotted. They are the owners of the cafes, the college professors, the doctors and nurses, the politicians, the people who rock their legs constantly whenever they sit down. They move through a succession of lives, eager to miss nothing. When two Nows chance to meet at the hexagonal pilaster of the Zahringer Fountain, they compare the lives they have mastered, exchange information, and glance at their watches. When two Laters meet at the same location, they ponder the future and follow the parabola of the water with their eyes.

The Nows and Laters have one thing in common. With infinite life comes an infinite list of relatives. Grandparents never die, nor do great-grandparents, great-aunts and great-uncles, great-great-aunts, and so on, back through the generations, all alive and offering advice. Sons never escape from the shadows of their father. Nor do daughters of their mothers. No one ever comes into his own.

When a man starts a business, he feels compelled to talk it over with his parents and grandparents and great-grandparents, ad infinitum, to learn from their errors. For no new enterprise is new. All things have been attempted by some antecedent in the family tree. Indeed, all things have been accomplished. But at a price. For in such a world, the multiplication of achievements is partly divided by the diminishment of ambition.

And when a daughter wants guidance from her mother, she cannot get it undiluted. Her mother must ask her mother, who must ask her mother, and so on forever. Just as sons and daughters cannot make decisions themselves, they cannot turn to parents for confident advice. Parents are not the source of certainty. There are one million sources.

Where every action must be verfified one million times, life is tentative. Bridges thrust halfway over rivers and then abruptly stop. Buildings rise nine stories high but have no roofs. The grocer's stocks of ginger, salt, cod, and beef change with every change of mind, every consultation. Sentences go unfinished. Engagements end just days before weddings. And on the avenues and streets, people turn their heads and peer behind their backs, to see who might be watching.

Such is the cost of immortality. No person is whole. No person is free. Over time, some have determined that the only way to live is to die. In death, a man or a woman is free of the weight of the past. These few souls, with their dear relatives looking on, dive into Lake Constance or hurl themselves from Monte Lema, ending their infinite lives. In this way, the finite has conquered the infinite, millions of autumns have yielded to no autumns, millions of snowfalls have yielded to no snowfalls, millions of admonitions have yielded to none.

small excerpt from ambrosia

2009-04-25T13:52:00.000-07:00

by varohaub (flickr)

I wiped the tear beading at the corner of my eye and turned around. I walked past the glossy marble pillars. I pushed aside the embroidered gold canopies. I shaded my eyes from the obnoxious shimmer of the hand-crafted crystal chandelier. I flew down a hundred steps that circled eternally like Dante's Inferno. And then I slammed the twenty-foot mahogany door behind me to further seal my ultimatum.

Then I realized, in the cold moonlight, that the house would simply swallow the sound of my anger, and they wouldn't even notice I was gone.

caught in the middle of it all

2009-04-06T19:50:00.001-07:00

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit"

- Aristotle

this year has gone by so fast. not the calendar year, but senior year. i have only 2 months to go and i feel so inundated with homework, tests, and bittersweet thoughts of graduation.

getting the Flinn scholarship definitely is the silver lining on the cloud and makes me feel like my life is going to change, hopefully for the better.

there are just so many things going on that i've been sadly neglecting ambrosia, but as soon as school's out, my devotion will be to my novel.

I'm excited to be on campus next year and i plan to join a writing group to help motivate me to finish the thing once and for all. it's very embarrassing when people ask what new things you've been writing and you don't have anything to say about it. i guess you could always go with the lame excuse " I've got a lot of works in progress that aren't ready to be seen.. just yet..."

if writing is not supposed to be an act, but more a habit, then how can i really call myself a writer? if i only write when i have time or when i feel like it, am i really a writer? if you really love something, you're supposed to make time for it, so why am i giving my schedule precedence over my favorite past time?

the time i don't spend physically writing, i dream writing. how sad is that when the only time i have to imagine is in my sleep? i leave a pen and notebook on my bedside table if i somehow wake and need to write down my moment of brilliance that fixes a plot problem or makes me understand a character better.

but i usually can't read my handwriting come morning so next time, i'll try a tape recorder and see if i mumble in my sleep...

getaway

2009-03-13T23:50:00.000-07:00

"For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been'"

- John Greenleaf Whittier

this day started off well and then turned sour, so i'm in an extremely bad mood. it's very hard to put into coherent words what i'm going through but it has a lot to do with college,choices, decisions, freedom and shelter, growing up and holding back. so i decided to write a poem about it without really being about it. because that's what writers do with their feelings. go figure.

getaway

sometimes i wish i was like Harold and had a purple crayon

i'd draw a sailboat, shiny blue

then i'd draw an ocean too and

dive dive dive

until what was up is down

and the sea is my ceiling

the sky is my floor

i'd talk to coral, fish and weeds

and blow bubbles when i didn't want to listen anymore

i'd sketch a wind so breezy free

that'd shake the earth and uproot trees

and funnel dirt and flowers

so they'd dance together

then i'd draw a hole and let the ocean all dry up

tuck it away in my pocket for a sunny day

i'd be the master of my purple crayon

i came, i saw, i wandered

i'd never share or trade it

nothing in that crayon box is ever worth

my special power

the freedom that is mine

so i place my crayon behind my ear

so i never forget it

feel it nestled against my skin

then sit down

and sigh

reasons to live

2009-02-24T17:11:00.000-08:00

"life is pleasant. death is peaceful. it's the transtion that's troublesome."

-Isaac Asimov

well it's almost two months into the new year and i'm starting to sort out my writing priorities now.I finally decided to make Ambrosia my main focus. it won over me: Andrea, her crazy grandmother who sneezes into her salad, Sofia who enjoys men, archery and fake identities and the beautiful lighthouse they live in, ghosts of the past, history catching up with the future, the phoenix and more.

I'm struggling to listen to Andrea's heart about why she's not happy with life. Most people would jump for joy that they get to live forever and rush to do all the things they want to do, right?

Well, one if you're stuck as 16, that's not cool. You'll be forever dependent and too young to do anything.

Two, if you live with a corrupt, greedy family, life's not a picnic, let me tell you.

Watching the Coraline movie today and seeing her simple desire to have fun and want a loving family reminded me of Andrea. She's itching to break free, but doesn't know how. Instead, she's drawn to staying with this horrible family for eternity because she's only just woken up to the fact that she has no where to run to. When your best friends are wire and pliers, you can say life is pretty lame.

All Andrea has grown up with over the 150 some years is war, corruption, sadness and history repeating itself. Her parents think life is about getting as much money as possible but they never spend time to enjoy life. Being from the Industrial Revolution and living through the dumbbell tenements and horrible city conditions, they're running away from that. This is their ticket to heaven. It's always about stealing, stealing and moving to cover it all up. They're ageless Bonnies and Clydes.

What would you do with all that time if you had forever? I think I would go crazy. It's too big of a number to fathom, too open, just too much. How do you know you're doing something worth doing? When is enough enough? Isn't there a time when you finally think- you know what, I think I'm done here, I've done everything I've wanted and I'm ready to go now?

Or do we all have that burning fear that we just can't let go,no matter what?

I'm interested to see what Andrea wants, where she will take herself and how she will cope with the decision- to live or not to live?

that is a hard question to answer, indeed.

new year resolutions

2008-12-31T19:28:00.000-08:00

" If there's a book you really want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it." ~Toni Morrison

a new year is here, full of new ideas, a new president and new books. so in tradition of making new resolutions that never are fulfilled, i'll attempt to make a few of the changes and/or improvements i'd like to make in 2009, both writing and non-writing related.

Writing
1. Write 10 minutes each day, no matter what, whether it's a story or poem etc.
2. Finish writing either Ayrugal, Ambrosia, or Amirah Hassen (why do all my stories start with the letter A??)
3.Enter the Your Story contest from Writer's Digest.
4. Find another celebrity to interview

Non-writing
1. Keep up my grades and avoid senioritis. (very very difficult)
2. Go to the gym three times a week or treadmill at home. (i'm motivated during break, but during school, i have no energy sadly. that's why i'm destined to be a writer with all the practice i have sitting on my butt all day)
3. Practice the guitar more, so I can actually play songs and not just chords lol
4. Convince my parents to go to London this summer on my own

i hope this year was good to your writing and if it wasn't that you're prepared and optimistic for whatever the next year brings.
Writing feels like a solitary journey, but looking for inspiration and advice of other writers helps so much. I know reading about published authors who go through the same cycle of writer's block, frustration and doubt with the writing process motivates me to keep trying because it's not just me. it's connecting to your inner soul and pushing the imagination to such a high level that makes writing so difficult and thrilling at the same time.
if you haven't thought about writing before, i suggest you do because it's one of the best things to do for yourself next to yoga, massages and eating a slice of cheesecake:)

see you in 2009!

ambrosia the novel

2008-12-24T20:57:00.000-08:00

"Writing is an exploration. You start from nothing and learn as you go."
-E.L. Doctorow

so the idea that inspired my short story "ambrosia" was actually more of a seed to a bigger plant. that's right- a novel.

of all the things i should be doing, starting another novel is NOT one of them.

i'm suffering completely of too-many-ideas syndrome and i have no patience to take the medicine for it.

maybe jumping between ideas is a good thing. keeps me motivated, interested instead of dragging boredom and avoiding my writing by saying i want to give it more space...

i've noticed though that i jump to new ideas when i find a hole in my story that i can't figure out how to fill. there's always a big question that needs to be solved and i can't decide which path i'm going to take because i'm afraid it's not good enough and if i use it, i'll write all this stuff leading up to it and then discover it doesn't work.

it's very agonizing when i get this awesome idea that gets me thinking and i realize i'm going to have to flesh it out major and add subplots and background characters etc. to make it a full novel.

my biggest problem with ayrugal is that i can't figure out Marcela's crime, which is the whole crux of the mystery of the novel. so there's no point in writing more about Adrienne and everyone else, if i don't know what happened then there's no clues to find ....

then the Seventeen fiction contest came along and i got the idea of a girl who tries to poison her family, but they're immortal so nothing happens. I wondered why she would do that and I discovered this desperate, lonely girl who has been the same age for over 100 years and is tired of being immortal. So she goes on this quest to figure out how to get rid of immortality so her corrupt, conmen family will stop what they're doing when they realize they're not invincible.

of course, this is all too much for a 500 word limit story, so I promised myself to hold off on it for a novel. i really really like the idea and i'm motivated to write this.

i just feel bad leaving another project behind to start it.

i guess we'll see how long it takes me to get tired or stuck of ambrosia and then i'll rebound with ayrugal. this is like picking favorites with two children. one way or another, you're going to owe one more time than you can give...

new poem!

2008-12-18T15:19:00.000-08:00

to celebrate finals being over and break starting, i have a new poem! on to 18 wonderful days of freedom and lots of writing:)

shut out

the door slipped and closed just before i could make it outside
just because you can't see

doesn't mean you can leave me

alone
you can't say i'm gone

just because you've moved on

'cause i won't
my spirit's a stallion, chained up,

but still dreams of the sky

time takes its time but one day i'll take mine

—and then die

sitting, waiting, wishing

2008-12-05T16:18:00.000-08:00

"good things come to those who wait."

- some incredibly lonely person

so that's it.

i finally sent off "ambrosia" after three or four revisions and tons of advice from my friends.

it was weird when i finally got it down to the 500 word limit and re-read it and found that it was so different from how it first came out of my head and i loved it then. but i still love the final version.

what bummed me out was that results won't be made until august 2009. AUGUST?!?

that's in forever.

i don't have that kind of patience. i want to be declared the winner now! or find out i'm a pathetic loser whose story is not worthy of meg cabot's love lol

but the best thing after sending off a story is, of course, to keep writing and start something else.

i'm tempted to try and write another quick story since you can submit as many entries as you want.. but i don't know if its worth it. i spent 2 months on "ambrosia."

i think it's best i get back to my children's novel, currently being called Ayrugal, after the main kingdom.

i know, i know it sounds like Eragon, but it's nothing like it and it wasn't my fault.

it's just hard to write that story because there's so much i don't know about the whole world and the plot; it feels like when you're walking around in the dark and you'd rather just stand and wait for it to get more light so you can keep going.

but i'm pushing through, hoping things clear up. i really like the idea of the story and i really want to finish. doing this writing workshop last summer was an amazing catalyst for Ayrugal, even though i failed to finish the 50,000 word goal. epic fail :]

so in between watching Chuck( why does no one know about this hilarious show???), catching up on a month's worth of Heroes(it is actually good now, people, stop freaking out. i know this because the last episode i watched, my mouth was open in the closing credits, which is a good sign of awesomeness) and figuring out stupid Calculus, i will continue to write in my journal and await the news from Seventeen.

AUGUST?!?!?

brevity is the soul of wit

2008-11-29T21:06:00.000-08:00

" brevity is the soul of wit"

So I posted my first draft of "ambrosia" to facebook to get comments back from my friends about what they think, questions, problems etc.

I got really good feedback from them like a rushed climax, more motivation needed for Andrea to take the vial and Clair to show it to her. I agree with everything.

My biggest problem is the one thing I can't change: the stupid 500 word limit!!!!

I know if I had more words, I could totally flesh out the characters and give more background to Clair and her whole becoming immortal thing, but I can't.

It's very frustrating because when the idea first hit me, it was a whole rush of thoughts and emotion that I couldn't write it down fast enough and when I did, the words were so perfect I didn't want to touch them.Now I have to clip out words, change ideas, delete characters and personality traits... all little things that when I step back and read the new draft, I feel like it's not the same story anymore. "ambrosia" just seems... blah.

I was so hopeful and excited that this was going to be the year I had a real chance at winning the Seventeen fiction contest and now that just went down the drain... with all the rain we've been having in Chandler.

I think the idea is just too much for a short short story and I'm afraid to risk it with this one. But that means I have to go back and come up with a whole nother story idea? ahhhhhhhh

This is the part I hate about writing. Feeling like you wasted your time with a story that used to mean so much to you at one point and wondering if it's best to move on or stick with it.So should I should keep going or not? This is draft 2 after adjusting to everyone's comments. It's right now 499 words.... yeah, I'm pushing it, badly.

The sky was a hushed tone of purple and we owned it. The two of us, licking the frosting off our chocolate cupcakes, hair sprawled across the lawn. Me, the quiet bookworm and Clair, the lone beauty, who strangely plucked me like a wildflower to be her companion. I never understood why. So that night, I asked her.
"What's your secret?"
Her eyes glowed for a moment, like they only did for Clair.
" My secret for what? My beautiful garden?"
She waved her hands towards the shriveled flowers and laughed. " No, I mean the secret to you. You could do whatever you want, be someone, but instead you hang out with me like you have nothing better to do. I feel like you’re hiding; you’re alone."
Clair tossed her amber hair over her shoulder. "What do you want, Andrea?” I winced. "I just want to know why this house is always empty."
" This house has been empty for fifty years and always will be," she whispered. "I like it that way."
The cupcake in my mouth suddenly tasted like dirt.
“What?”
Clair looked as if there was something clenching her insides, her eyes shrunk.
“God, I can’t believe I’m doing this,” she said.
She pulled out a slender gold vial.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“ My real secret,” she muttered.
“I remember paying all of five pennies for it from an old peddler. ‘Jus’ one drop an’ you’ll live forever, lass.’ I was sixteen, March 1892.”
“This is a story, right?”
Clair laughed bitterly.
“Oh, stop being so dramatic. When I tell you the truth, you can feel it in your bones.”
I believed her. I always had.
“I didn’t know what forever meant, not even after my parents died from pneumonia. There’s no start or end. It’s really a feeling. A horrible feeling…But you can change that. Drink this and we’ll be best friends forever, I promise.”
I looked away sheepishly.
“Forget about college,” Clair said, frowning. “It’s worthless. I can tell you everything you need to know. I’ve lived it. The world just gets older and stupider.”
“What about my family?”
“I’m your family,” she said,
She looked desperate and determined all at once. I was looking at a stranger.
“I’ve never shared this with anyone; you’re the only one I’ve ever trusted.”
“I-I need to think about this, okay? Alone?”
She pushed the glass into my palm and walked away.
Poor Clair. After hundreds of years, who was I to deny her happiness? She had chosen me after all. If I could only have an ounce of what she had, I could be just as wonderful…
I twisted open the cork. The water like electric rushed to be poured into my veins. I closed my eyes. Let it drop .The liquid flushed down the petals and stems into the soil, giving Clair the beautiful everlasting garden—and friend—she needed. The one I was only sorry I could never be.

an inspiring picture and quote

2008-11-23T17:33:00.000-08:00

pic copyright- notes of a life

To me, the greatest pleasure of writing is not what it's about, but the inner music the words make. ~Truman Capote

here's a beautiful picture with a great quote to match. this pretty much suffices what i'm feeling right now and why i can't wait to finish my stupid hw so i can get back to writing. it's weird when you have this creative urge to write something down. it's even weirder when you hear voices of characters from completly different stories talking and i can't figure out which one to write down first and which one to listen to.

well right now, i can only afford to listen to hw.

i can't wait until thanksgiving.

pumpkin pie+sleeping in+writing time+seeing my Hieyam= awesome holiday.

pat brown interview

2008-11-13T17:50:00.000-08:00

I almost forgot!
i promised to put the Pat Brown interview up. here it is:

Were you always into music when you were growing up?

Well, I’ve been playing the piano since 6th grade. My mom’s a piano teacher, so music has been in my skull since I was born. And then from church camp, I saw the counselors playing guitar and got interested. My parents bought me one and then in junior high, I started to meet other people who played guitar or bands. We started off by doing Blink 182 covers and all that, but as I got older, I began discovering serious people. I started the band through people I met in other bands who had the same aspirations as me.

How’d you get your break into the business?

Our 1st show ever, we opened for Motion City Soundtrack at this Myspace Secret Show, which was a huge opportunity. It was a tiny venue in Minneapolis and we won this contest to play. . Motion City Soundtrack is from our hometown so they’re like A-list celebrities. The guitarist Josh like us and said he was interested in helping us out and wanted sit down and talk, We went out to lunch and Josh wanted to help get us in the right direction and showed to owner of Epitaph Records who signed us right away.

How did you choose the name Sing it Loud?

Choosing a name is the hardest thing, because you don’t want to be typecast, and we didn’t want to hate our name. We ended up taking the name from a song on our album ‘Let Yourself Go’, because in the bridge there’s a part that goes ‘sing out loud.’

What’s your favorite part about being in a band?

We’re all really good friends. I love stepping back and looking around to see my friends next to me on stage and I’m thinking I don’t have to go to school and work… Touring is awesome!

What music do you listen to on the road?

My favorite band is Still Canvas; Bjork is one of favorites now. It’s weird but I usually listen to bands I’m on tour with, even though you’d think I’d get sick of it, but I don’t. So I’m listening to Cobra Starship and then I know all the words when they’re on stage. [laughs]

What’s it like to tour with Cobra Starship?

Amazing, it’s really cool. This is our 1st real tour with bands in tour buses that are famous. We’re waking up every day in a city we’ve never been to; it’s great.

What inspires your songs?

Well, we write almost all our music together. It’s all things that go on in everyday lives. When we wrote album, we were in crappy relationships with girls so we got vent together in the songs. But the lyrics are going to be more happy in our next album.

If you could collaborate with an artist from a completely different genre, who would it be?

John Mayer, he’s just plain awesome. The one thing I like about him is he’s like , B.B. king and Elvis Presley, in that no matter what, he will last. There really aren’t any band that’s come out that I think we’ll remember 10-20 years. But John Mayer is someone I believe will be listened to for a hundred years.

What are your favorite songs on the album ‘Come Around’?

The last two songs, “Fade away” and “Best Beating Heart”, because I wrote all the lyrics and music. I hold those one closer to my heart than the others.

Do you ever get nervous or feel the pressure of being a celebrity?

I’ve been getting nervous just because I’m not used to playing for big as crowds as we are right now. When the lights go out and the intro starts, we walk on and there’s all the people screaming and I start freaking out. I don’t think I’ll get used it. It’s a good feeling though.

So do you do anything before you get out on stage?

Before every show, I sit by myself and don’t talk to anyone. I just lay down in van, chill and warm up my voice. I do stretch routines too because I have back problems.

Any interesting fan encounters?

I think it’s super cool when our fans research our Myspace and know what we like to eat like I love sour gummy worms and Gatorade. Some of them bring food and drinks we like to the shows.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

Hm, I wish I could fly. That would come in handy.

Do you ever see yourself doing anything other than music?

I have a back up plan to teach piano like my mom, but right when I got out of high school and start touring I knew I was taking a step toward goal and it’s honestly the only thing I want to do with my life.

What’s your favorite thing about the other guys in the band? Any interesting quirks?

We’re all really different. Our bass player Nate is the kid who doesn’t drink or party. He’s organized and a nice guy. Our van would be a complete mess without him because he’s super responsible. Kieran on guitar is just goodness oriented. He takes care of the big important stuff otherwise we’d be lost with out him. Ben, our keyboard player, is the funniest dude ever. He can do an impression of anybody. Chris is really chilled out with other bands and is always down to hang out. I’m the go out and party, hang out with people person. So we all bring cool elements to the table and we can all still get along.

What’s one piece of advice to aspiring musicians?

Lots of other people-family and friends- will hate on what you’re doing and can be very unsupportive. I zoned everyone out and didn’t care what everyone thought. If I would have let them get to me, I would be most unhappy person ever and have passed off the opportunity of a lifetime. Wanting to be in band is kind of a ridiculous dream like being an actor or athlete. You think it doesn’t happen to people, but it does. Just focus on what you’re doing and you’ll get there.

Make sure to go out and buy Sing It Loud’s album “Come Around” in stores now, with 11 songs featuring the guest vocals of Justin Pierre of Motion City Soundtrack and Alex Gaskarth of All Time Low.

creative drought

2008-11-13T17:43:00.001-08:00

so i haven't been on in a while, because my mind has been so full of school stuff, my creative muses are gone, sadly.

i finally finished up the first draft of ambrosia, but i feel so lazy about rewriting. that's my least favorite part. i always wish i could write it brilliantly the first time and skip this part. but i need to type it up and give it out to my friends to read over and give me feedback.

i'm kind of anxious about that because everyone always assumes i'm good at writing just because i love it and i'm the editor in chief of the newspaper at my school...i am not looking forward to their reactions. but i don't want them to sugarcoat it either cuz i need all the help i can get.

i entered the 17 fiction contest 2 years ago, but i was trying too hard to write a story like one of the winners that i'm not surprised i didn't win.this year is different though. i really feel like my story is special and i like it.i just hope i can edit it well and make it not so choppy and full of bathos.

why do ideas sound so much better in your head than on paper??

while i wait for other people to read ambrosia, i'm trying to get back on writing something else in the meantime, but my head is empty :(
all the pressure of school and lack of sleep must be really taking a toll.
that's why i can't wait until break and graduation to finally be able to write in peace!

until then i'm going to put a writing quote and cool picture on every post from now on. maybe that will help?

on the music scene

2008-10-30T20:00:00.000-07:00

so this week i did a phone interview with Pat Brown from the up and coming band Sing It Loud. they're actually pretty good. and yes, i still have his number:)
they're touring with Cobra Starship-snakes on a plane anyone??

anyways, he was really cool and answered all my questions, so that's nice. SIL is playing next Tuesday somewhere in Phoenix, but obviously i can't go since it's a school night.. and it's ELECTION DAY!!

i got the assignment from azTEEN magazine but i'm going to reprint the story in my school paper too, so double coverage for the band.
i always feel weird talking to celebrities because i don't know how much they expect me to know about them or compliment them or just ask professional, cuz that's just boring...

i did relate to Pat about wanting to do something that others might not like or agree with and just following your own dreams. here's to my writings dreams amounting to the same luck he got:)

i'll have the interview up sometime this weekend. this makes celebrity interview numero cuatro.. not that i'm keeping count haha
in the meantime go listen to "Best Beating Heart" on their myspace: myspace.com/singitloud

from the keyboard of a published author

2008-10-22T19:48:00.001-07:00

so it's pretty old news that i met and interviewed Patrick Stump from Fall Out Boy :)
I saved that story and had it printed in not only my school paper, but azTEEN magazine and now Teen Ink.
You can read it at http://www.teenink.com/Interviews/article/49620/Fall-Out-Boy/
I did it for fun, but that interview ended up getting voted as the best interview and was placed on the front page of the interview section of the website
....and then they published it in the current issue of Teen Ink!

they mailed me a free copy, along with a sweet Teen Ink branded pen and then -what I found hilarious- a sticky note pad that said " from the desk of a published author."

my brother thought they were making fun of me, but i'd like to think it's a foreshadowing or a visual reminder of my dream.

one day novel, one day, you will see the light of day haha

until then i'm swamped with senior hw and trying to find time for finishing ambrosia, so i'll have more up soon as i have time to breathe.

breakthrough

2008-10-12T19:53:00.000-07:00

so yesterday i finally got somewhere with my short story "ambrosia" and i was so excited so i'm posting what i have so far. i will probably hate it soon after, but i want to know what you think of it so far and how it makes you feel, predictions etc.

ambrosia

The sky was a hushed tone of purple blue and we owned it. The two of us, licking the frosting off our triple chocolate cupcakes, hair sprawled across the green lawn. Me, full of questions of the future, wanting to escape college applications and a dreary waitress job. Clair, full of unbelievable wonder, with nothing to escape from. I envied, her effortless, simple existence. So that night, I asked her.

"What's your secret?"

Her eyes glowed for a moment, like they only did for Clair and then she laughed.

" My secret? My secret for what? My beautiful garden?"

She stroked the shy petals of some ravishing flowers that encircled us.

" I just get good help. You know I'm a hopeless gardener." She smacked her lips.

" No, Clair. That's not what I'm talking about," I said, sitting up.

" I mean you. The secret to you. You have so much energy, always going out and planning things... cupcakes under the stars...like you have nothing going on. But you're alone. I know it."

Clair tossed her amber hair over shoulder like a lion's mane.

" What do you want, Andrea? Are you trying to ruin a Friday night?"

I looked down.

"I just want to know why this house is always empty."

She leaned forward.

" This house has been empty for fifty years and always will be," she whispered. " I like it that way."

The cupcake in my mouth suddenly tasted like dirt.

writing for money=impossible

2008-10-08T13:44:00.000-07:00

so i'm trying to get this scholarship called the Flinn Scholarship that gives you an unbelievable $50,000 for college and into this exclusive group of Arizona students that gets special trips abroad, conferences and seminars with important people and the keys to a successful future... or at least that's what their brochures say. see look at them, they're all happy and successful.

all the students that were Flinn scholars are major involved in their school and do science fairs, play sports, are in the orchestra and are valedictorian or salutatorian in their class. and then there's me...

Applying for this Flinn scholarship will definitely make me feel less lame about not getting to apply anywhere out of state and still have that sense of accomplishment for being recognized. I'm looking forward to college because it seems like that's where you actually get to do your part in the world and start building your life.

Plus, it's free money.

filling out all the regular boring application stuff is easy like your grades, clubs, blah blah. but then of course they had to test your writing.

there are 3 essays you have to submit and they're all 500 words or less. the Flinn lady who came in said they spend time trying to come up with interesting, unique topics for us to write and for them to read and this is what came out of that:

1. Who are you? Tell us something not apparent in your application about your career goals, life experiences or an obstacle overcome. Use this response to differentiate yourself from the hundreds applying for this scholarship award.

-I basically want to write about being Eritrean and Muslim growing up in America and how that's shaped my perspective and what I want to do. It's all really messy right now , because I don't want it to be a pity, outsider story because that wouldn't be true. I'm lucky that I had a lot of friends in school and I wasn't isolated or anything. But I did feel pressure to be with the majority and experienced moments when I had to stand up for myself, so I want to talk about that in an intelligent way...

2. Eight objects reside in a box. Choose five of them and write a story. Story begins: It was a Wednesday morning and had rained all of Tuesday." Objects: baseball bat, empty Starbucks cup, detour sign, two wax bananas, a guitar, a copy of Einstein's Relativity:The Special and General Theory, skateboard, six toy soldiers.

- Yeah, I know, what? This one is really hard. I don't even know where to start. Should it be funny or serious? Which objects should I use? Help?

3. What is your view on genetic testing? Defend your choice. ( there was more to this one, but i'm too lazy to write it all out)

- this was really easy, i already wrote it up and uploaded it. Got help from Mom since she knows about that stuff and from Dad because he knows how to argue:)

I'm feel very anxious about these essays because they are my only opportunity to show my voice and make me not another application the board has to go through. They say not to try and impress them and just be yourself, but what if that's not enough? I think I'd do better in the interview. I'm more of a face to face person. You don't have to worry about hooking the audience with your opening sentence or sentence structure or transitions then.

so any advice on essay #2 or writing essays for scholarships in general, i'll take it :)

Joining the Blogging World

2008-10-07T19:01:00.000-07:00

so this is my first post on my first blog.
i'm trying to think of something incredibly profound or witty to say, because first impressions are everything, right?

well, i'll start of by saying that this blog is a place to read about the lonely, painful, crazy, amazing art of writing and how i manage to have time for school, family, friends and life in general. to be honest, most of the things teenagers start never end up getting finished. seriously, i'm guilty of it. but i'm hoping that by keeping a daily or weekly account of what i'm doing, my pile of "to-do" stories will eventually end up on "sent to publisher or contest" stories.

So here's what I have as of now:
- Short story called "ambrosia" for Seventeen Fiction Contest due in December
- Untitled Middle grade novel that I started 2 years ago... sigh...
- Untitled Picture book idea

it'll be an interesting ride where you'll probably read some rants or me asking for help on stories i'm working on or about how senior year is taking over or current events that get me thinking.

hopefully, i can inspire or atleast relate to anyone else who dreams of becoming a writer for a living or atleast entertain those of you don't.
that's all for now :)